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Friday, April 07, 2006

A Silly Mom

I enjoy this woman's blog, this is a post about trying to have real interaction with one's family. I love this woman's silliness.

Bring back my geeks to me!
I am surrounded by GEEKS. Here a geek. There a geek. Everywhere a Geek Geek. Saturday night all three of my Geek-guys were playing online games. (I refer to them as Geek 1/Clint, Geek2/Brandon and Geek 3/Zarek. They know when I call out Geek 2 who I am calling for. It is rather pathetic, I must say.) But you would think I would at least have my daughter. Oh no! She is sitting on the family room floor playing PS2. Argh! My home is infested with geeks. I know, there are worse things in the worlds than that. And why would it bother me? Well, that is very simple. I WAS BORED.
I mean, B-O-R-E-D! Everyone was geekified and I had nothing to do. Oh sure, I could clean. (Yeah right!) Or work on the many writing projects I had to do. (All of the computers were taken.) Or I could watch tv. (500 channels and nothing to keep my Shiny Penny Brain entertained.) So I decided if I couldn’t beat them, they will join me.
I went outside to the trampoline. I started jumping on it and singing on the top of my lungs.
"My Bonnie lies over the OCEEAAAANNNNNNNN!!! My bonnie lies over the Seeeeeaaaaaaaaaa!!! My bonnie lies over the ocean! Ohhhhhh bring back my bonnie to meeeee! Brrrrrrrrrringggg back! Brrrrrrrrrrringg back! Oh bring back my bonnie to meeeeeeee to MEEEEEEEEEE!!"
Which of course inspired me to grandeur! I began verse two:
"My family, they are such big Geeeeeekwads! Boring geeeeekwads, that is myyyy familyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! They all are inside being GEEEEEEEKYYYYYY!! Oh bring out my familyyyy to MEEEEEEEEEE! BRRRRING OUT! BRRRRING OUT! OH BRING OUT MY GEEEEEEEKWADS to MEEEEEEEEEE to MEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Bring OUT! Bring OUT! Oh Bring out my GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKWADDDSSSS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
All of this is going on as I jump ungracefully, and rather spastically on the trampoline. Arms flailing about, legs kicking around as if independent from my body. Dressed in the oh so fashionable attire of boxer shorts and a t-shirt. And, yes, you can see me if you are a neighbor behind or beside me. And yes, they did come out to see what the noise was. I just kept jumping and singing as loudly as I could.
As soon as I noticed my new neighbor watching me in horror, I shouted, “Join me! The chorus is easy!” And sang more on the top of my lungs now while conducting my horrified neighbor to the beat.
Gabrie was the first to hear me and come running. Then Harley (the Doberbutt) started to bark which brought out Geek 3. Once the door was open and Geek 1 heard me (yes, the husband) he came outside. Stood there with his hands on his hips and just stared. I would say shocked, but nothing I do shocks him anymore.
Before long, I had what I wanted. All 5 of us jumping on the trampoline laughing and having fun.
And then it happened. The horror of all horrors for (some) Moms who have pushed out 4 babies. I went for the SUPER jump to bounce them all. And Ms. I-Cannot-Take-Antics-Like-This Bladder gave up and said, “Fine. Act like a child, I will treat you like a child!’ And therefore let loose.
Yes, friends, as my not so graceful feet hit the not so gentle tarp of the trampoline, the bladder, she did give up the ability to deal with me.
I began to laugh. And laugh. And double over in laughter. Gasping for breath I squealed, “I......just.....peed.....myself!” Then doubled over even more at the HORROR on the faces of my family as they wondered if Mom had finally gone over the bend and lost her mind. Completely. I mean, they froze. Which made me laugh harder. Which of course made me wet myself.
And I was stone cold sober.
Laughing to the point of barely being able to stand, I bid there horror stricken faces farewell and stumbled my way off of the trampoline to go inside and change my clothes. As I went in, I stopped and looked over my shoulder. I saw Geek 1, 2 and 3 looking horror stricken and sweet little Princess Geek saying, “What? I do that sometimes. It’s no big deal!”
That’s my Girl!
Posted by Jenn on 04/03 at 08:42 PM

Ok, I peed a little reading this. I usually fart on the trampoline, which isn’t much better. The wonder of what children did to our bodies.
Posted by dizzymizzy on 04/04 at 03:00 AM
That Is Awesome
More of us need to laugh that hard a little more often! Have a great day!
Posted by Michelle on 04/04 at 06:18 AM
Oh dear! What a wonderful way to help me wake up this morning. I want a trampoline!!
Posted by lastewie on 04/04 at 06:27 AM
snort....I consider the success of a weekend visit with our sons and their families by the number of times they make me pee or throw up from laughing. you are so precocious!
Posted by Fran on 04/04 at 08:00 AM
I’m trying to keep from peeing myself reading this! Picture in my head=perfect family moment. Keep up the laughter!
Posted by Diana on 04/04 at 11:30 AM
Beautiful. I never can jump like I used to on our trampoline for the same dang reason
Posted by Mega Mom on 04/04 at 01:04 PM
I’m afraid to think how bad my bladder will be after four (if I ever make it there). I can barely hold it with one - and that’s both ends!
Thanks for visiting - I can imagine that I will be needing coffee - sounds like you are my girl for that!
Posted by Kristen on 04/04 at 02:09 PM
Another crazy, wacko, completely-stone-cold-sober, high-on-life, peein’-in-her-pants mommy!!!
Awesome! I’m fixing to go pick up the kids right now and I can’t wait to tell there’s another one of ‘us’ out there! Bwaaahahaaahaa *wringing hands*
My 12 yr old will RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
It’s all part of the plan, my dear, it’s all part of the plan! heehee
(yeppers...3 10lb’ers in 3 yrs done FINISHED my bladder! And the kids always want “Big Momma” to bounce them to the moon, too!)
Your candor and your humor are OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!
Thoroughly satisfied to hear such joy from you!!
Posted by Lisa Roberson on 04/04 at 02:54 PM
Yep, the mini-exercise tramp sits rusting in the corner of the basement for that exact reason. It was such a good idea at the time…
I had to physically unplug the TV to get mine outside wth me yesterday. Next time, I’ll try the singing.
Posted by Gette Jones on 04/04 at 03:01 PM
Go Tramp-O-Natic!
Posted by Jenny on 04/04 at 09:09 PM
More like GO PEE A MATIC!! LOLOLOL OH MY FREAK...I laughed myself silly and even threw in a snort or two for good measure. At least you did it with grace! Way to pee proud.
Posted by Hula Doula on 04/04 at 09:56 PM
Won’t you be, please won’t you be, won’t you be MY neighbor? Because you are such a riot and then I would have company in my silliness. We could take over the ‘hood!
And besides, Kyle wants a trampoline, and I shudder to think of the impact on our homeowner’s insurance premium.
Posted by Julie on 04/05 at 10:41 AM
i would have called the cops on you
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Fred on 04/05 at 03:07 PM
I haven’t even had any kids and my bladder is weak as all heck. When my mom and I get laughing real hard you would see us legs crossed, half bent over, crying, trying to control our flow
Posted by Toni on 04/07 at 10:53 AM

2 comments:

Jamie said...

OMG! i just had a chance to read that and I AM GLAD I DID! it is too funny!

sajmom said...

I'm glad someone else shares my sense of humor! I loved it.