Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
One day I would love to have free time to just make things and get really creative. I have a Loooong time until I get there though!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Then I wondered why this guy and not a dentist I'd seen? Maybe because I can't go back to the last dentist I had(they don't take medicaid and I'm already behind on the payment plan they use) and I didn't like the dentist I used before that. Who knows....I don't understand exactly how the subconscience works, but I bet that's why this guy was in my dreams.
Monday, August 27, 2007
So since giving birth I've lost Timothy, plus a little! That sounds much more dramatic!
Friday, August 24, 2007
may i simply say… August 24, 2007
Filed under: parenting, sundry — katie allison granju @ 9:24 am
…that parenting a teenager is truly, truly kicking my ass. I was in no way prepared for how hard this is, or how scary or stressful.
My mantra: He will be okay. We will all be okay. He will be better than okay; he will thrive and be well and happy.
I love him.
And someone replied:
I agree with the earlier posters—each and every child presents you with different challenges at different times. I also think it’s true that one’s first child has a particular path, very bound up with his parents’ paths. The challenge here more than anywhere is to differentiate. all the love and prayers.
NOTE TO MY SISTERS: See! The first child has it harder! I made the way easy for both of you! You should bow down and pay your respects!! I rule!
(Leanna will do this also, just not as often because she's usually more involved in whatever she's doing and so the boys make it over to the bassinette much quicker.
"So's your face!!"
Try it; it works as a reply in almost any situation... it can be derrogatory or complimentary but always sounds disgusting and mean. For instance:
"Hey! You just cut me off, you *****!""So's your face!"
"Wow! You look really handsome today!""So's your face!"
Isn't that special?
Posted by: Dilbert's Rabbi August 24, 2007 at 07:03 AM
Claire also does the same thing with the name "Harry Potter" and sometimes the phrase "Your mother!" (which doesn't work so well since we share the same mother)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Oh, thank goodness I've found this forum! I've been scouring the web ever since I found out about TDBFB. The authors definitely noticed that boys have forgotten how to have unstructured fun, and they are to be commended for that. What's been neglected is that girls have NEVER really been able to engage in unstructured outdoor play - there's such a huge societal stigma against a tree-climbing little girl. This book reminds me of why I hated being a girl twenty years ago. We just didn't have the same freedom as boys.
And this continues. The girls at the PRESCHOOL where I taught a couple years ago often came wearing platform shoes, which they couldn't possibly run around in. I think a girls book should simple contain a chapter called "How to play without sitting down"
Also, tree-climbing. And using a compass.
"There are a series of videos on YouTube depicting a Tourette's sufferer. He yells, "Bob Saget!" using the same rhythm as "G-d Damnit!" I find it works very well and since Bob Saget is not omnipotent and has not sent out any rules regarding the use of his name there is less likelihood of damnation for taking his name in vain."
I don't know, the idea of Bob Saget's name being a curse word is just amusing.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
We had a long conversation during the massage and that was one of the things we talked about-how a midwife looks at how every decision affects you, not just the baby/pregnancy. And also very important, how things affect your family. She truly wants to make this a great experience for you. Most doctors simply don't care. (The example she gave was that to a doctor, a C-section is often a way to avoid a chance of a lawsuit, or a way to end a labor that is taking too long for their patience. They don't consider that the woman may have a family at home that needs her to take care of them instead of having to recover from surgery. That breastfeeding is extremely difficult on top of that scar, and that c-section babies have more trouble breastfeeding to begin with. Etc. ).
Hospitals don't care what kind of birth you want, in fact, she said she's afraid to walk away from her clients-even for a little-because you can come back to find they've started interventions the client never wanted! She said things always come full circle, and right now birth is at a bad place in the cycle. Women are dying from epidurals (I forget exactly what she said, but something about an epidural raising your blood pressure and that causes other complications) which is pretty scary. I knew it could happen as a result of a c-section but I'd not heard it could happen from an epidural. That's not supposed to happen in this day and age! Not in America!
People think you're crazy for not wanting pain medication, but if anyone's interested, I can give you a nice list of reasons why.....
Anyway, we had a nice long conversation about birth in general and mine in particular and she let me borrow a book on fertility. Another nice thing about midwives-they usually have a small library of books for your use!
I think my favorites are generally the ones that show real thought-the handmade blanket, like the one Tom's aunt made for Justin (although she has a sewing machine that embroiders for her-that must be fun to play with!), the frame with Timothy's name and it's meaning that his Aunt Laura made for him, gifts like that.
I like the idea someone lists in the comments on the link of adding a little note saying why each gift you give had meaning. As in "this particular cup is really easy to clean and was my child's favorite to use." This works best for a new mother, but would be sweet no matter what.
Anyone have a favorite (or just really special) baby gift they received? (or a suggestion for one)
To me this is interesting because ever since I worked at McDonalds I've been theorizing about this same subject-why do corporations not realize that treating their employees like dirt hurts the company? Particular employees can really be a value to a company but the attitude of most Corp. is that all employees are easily replaceable. They're always trying to make an extra buck in ways that hurt the customer. Yes, they're in it to make money, but they go to ridiculous lengths to acomplish this. One of the most popular (that I've seen, anyway) is to reduce the number of employees on the shifts. Not because they're not as busy, but because they want to pull more work out of already challenged employees. This hurts the employees who become tired and sometimes grouchy with the customers, and of course it hurts the customers who must wait much longer for service and as a result of overworked employees often get poorer service to boot. I know from working in the Deli that many customers, particularly the elderly ones, like to chat with the employees, during and after thier order is filled. They like to come and see the same people each time. But when you're always that busy you don't have time to talk anymore and a customer trying to talk with you often becomes an annoyance because you have too much to do and not enough time to do it.
In my experience, when they reduce employees they also start new rules regarding things like not talking. Less talking means more work, right? Especially in a stupid job where the pay and skill is low and you don't have perks, little things like the friendships you form while working are the reasons you keep employees. It makes an otherwise boring job worthwhile. Then they usually yell at you for not smiling more. (I'm gonna smile now that I can't talk to employees or customers and I have more work to do and less help doing it?)
I think I'm gonna end this post for now. I could go on quite a bit more on this subject. I'll just say that I think it pays to treat your employees and customers well. I think today corporations try to do as absolutly little as they can. They've become incredibly greedy, focusing all the wealth a company makes at the very top of the ladder (CEOs and such) and the employees doing the hard labor are the one making pennies. It says much about our society that this is perfectly accepted behavior, doesn't it?
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
This sort of thing is amazing and actually really neat......MY Dad watched THREE kids, on his OWN! Just a few years ago he wouldn't have done that! He is really mellowing, and I have to say, I think it's good for him. I think it allows him to enjoy the grand kids much more. He's come a long way even since Leanna was born. I think he enjoys watching the boys play because he always wanted a boy (Justin is named for the boy they never had) and watching them reminds him of his own childhood. So that helped engage him with the kids even more.
When his own kids were little he thought that there wasn't much you could do with young kids, they weren't very interesting. He would wait until they were older and could hold conversations with him and such. He missed out on a lot of bonding that way. And we weren't as close with him as we would have been had he spent more time with us while we were young. So especially because of that, it makes me happy to watch him with my kids. I think it's really great for both of them!
It may be that the kids of yore played quietly on the floor with their corncob dolls while their mothers took their once-a-week bath. More likely, the kids pulled on the washtub the entire time, trying to eat the lye soap and shrieking demands for gruel. Today, we have a choice. Many a new mom has discovered that if a DVD means half an hour to shower in peace, she'll take it, no matter what sarcastic comments she may have made about Baby Mozart during pregnancy.
CBS13) ELK GROVE A five-year-old boy from Elk Grove helped deliver his baby sister and is now being called a hero. John John Barreiros woke up Thursday morning to the sound of his mom's screams. His mother, Christina Barreiros, had no time to call 911 and her husband was out of town. She laid a towel down in the bathroom and went into labor, and that's when her son came to the rescue. Although John John's baby sister Aleah was born a week and a half early, she is doing well thanks to her big brother.
Friday, August 17, 2007
"Do you have to go potty?"
And we rushed off and he did it!
Now I realize he may not do it again for another year! But I'm proud of him, and I think we're on our way to having only one in diapers! Hurray for Timothy! (Hurray for me!)
I play with my kids!! Of course we don't have the giant house with the giant yard to go running around playing sports and such so I can lose the weight. That would help tremendously-having a safe space where we could run and play. Nor do we have the money to buy all healthy food or a personal chef to prepare it when I'm too tired or busy to do more than make sandwiches. Or money for a gym membership. Nor do I have the supermodel genes. Yeah, there's that too. : )
PS. On the plus side-I don't have any stretch marks either!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The weight melting off my body has stopped, actually about two weeks ago. I suspect it's all an uphill battle from here. The other day I was trying on a bunch of clothes given to me by various people. I couldn't get rid of nearly as many as I would have liked. Leanna looked at me trying on a pair of jeans and said, "Wow, you look like the girls outside!" She meant that the jeans were a modern style. And I realized that almost all the clothes I've been wearing since she was born are hand-me-downs, largely from women a generation older than me. So, as I told my husband later that night, well, the bad news is, I'm fat......the good news is-I'll have lots of jeans to wear!
I didn't know he knew the word, much less how to use it correctly.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Simple tips to keep your love for life.
By Kat Tancock
"Divorce-proofing is a daily, ongoing task," says Sharon Y. Ramsay, a Toronto-based marriage and family therapist. "It takes real work to make it for the long haul." But do you know what to focus on? Here are eight ways to make your marriage work for good.
1. Talk, and listen
Make sure to share your thoughts with each other, daily, if possible, and to take interest in each other's lives. "I am yet to consult with a couple who has not pointed to 'poor communication' as the source of their relationship woes," says Ramsay. Also, she adds, make sure to check in with your spouse to ensure that they're truly hearing what you're saying -- and that you're receiving and understanding right back. "This is a responsibility that both people share," Ramsay says.
2. Kiss goodbye and hello
"Hugs, kisses, quick squeezes, even holding one another's gaze are ways in which the couple can affirm their connection and commitment to one another," says Ramsay. Pausing for a hug and a kiss before you leave for work in the morning may seem like a small thing, but the warm glow it gives you is something to look back on all day.
3. Do fun activities together
Find a shared outside activity: Ballroom dancing, jogging, foreign films and gardening are some examples Ramsay suggests. They can help you both keep learning about each other, she says. "While these hobbies can seem frivolous, they can actually serve to remind the couple of what they have in common and encourage them to relate to one another as a real people."
4. Have independent lives
Don't live life glued together. Make sure to have your own hobbies, interests and friends on top of your shared activities; you'll maintain a sense of your own individual identity and have lots to talk about with your partner to boot. "Before we ever knew our spouse existed on the planet," says Ramsay, "we had dreams, ambitions and interests that probably contributed to us making that love connection." She suggests that both partners continue to pursue at least one independent hobby or activity in order to nourish both themselves and their relationship.
5. Plan ahead
From parenting philosophies to thoughts on money to prioritizing goals and dreams, marriage means making plans together -- and the earlier, the better. Financial planning, for instance, says Ramsay, "can often be a deal-breaker in a marriage." Don't assume that your partner knows how you feel about important issues -- sit down and discuss them before they have the chance to become a problem.
6. Fight with a purpose
Handling conflict constructively is key. Ramsay recommends a three-point plan for making sure fights have a positive outcome. First, she says, acknowledge that every couple faces arguments, and that they're "not an indication that the relationship is doomed." Second, she says, "each person should examine their own contribution to the conflict and be prepared to own up to it." Finally, she adds, both partners have to be able to spell out what upset them and how they would like the problem to be resolved. "By having this level of clarity," Ramsay says, "the couple is then in a position to talk about what happened in a focused way."
7. Make time for intimacy
"Sex is really the culmination of all of the little things that are done throughout the day," Ramsay says, "a reminder of how much you enjoy your spouse." So, the more, the better, right? Well, it's not so simple. What is important is that you are meeting each other's needs for intimacy -- which means they need to be articulated, as well (see 1, above). And intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex, per se. "The broader the couple's physical repertoire, the better," says Ramsay. This means that everything from kisses to cuddles to shared glances is game.
8. Focus on the positive
Sometimes, all it takes to brighten someone's mood is an honest compliment from someone he or she loves. One consequence of being part of a deeply committed relationship is trusting your partner's opinion, whether it's a compliment or a put-down. Don't take this power for granted. So if you think your partner looks cute in her new dress, say so -- and if you're not crazy about the shoes, keep your mouth shut. It's all about the greater good, after all.
And some of us can't even make it that far! (of course having a baby and through circumstances losing two weeks pay doesn't help either!!)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
At the Risk of Sounding Like one of those "Don't Almost Give" Commercials...
Sometimes I think about the people that might have been. Not so much about someone not living up to their potential...but about just how close you came to not existing period.
Emmitt wasn't planned. In fact, he was one heck of a surprise. Had it been up to our timing, it would have been another egg, another sperm and another child altogether. My mother had a miscarriage before I was born. If that pregnancy had lasted, would she have had me?
How many of you have children that weren't planned...but that you now can't imagine life without. How many have lost a child that might have been?
Now I don't usually get all touchy-feely-preachy here, but I was reading an article today about my Grandfather and his time on Iwo Jima during WWII and I was reminded of just how many times he should have stopped existing. (And since my dad was born after the war, you can follow the logic to just how close I came to not existing.)
The article touches on one story (the foxhole) but doesn't really give the details. It leaves out two other near death experiences as well.
1.) The Foxhole - Grandpa was a machine gunner on Iwo Jima. He traveled with a tiny little Filipino national who lay under the rifle and fed the string of bullets in. Grandpa said they could get off two to three bursts of fire before they had to move, because it generally only took that long for the Japanese to zero in on their location. He said the first mortar always went long or short, the second one got a little closer and the third one nailed you.
On this day, they'd gotten two rounds off and Grandpa was ready to move. His partner swore they could get one more burst off if they did it quickly. Grandpa agreed and says that as he pulled the trigger, the world just went dark.
He woke up on the ground outside the fox hole covered in blood. They never did find his loader.
2.) The Landing Craft - Grandpa went on shore on one of those landing crafts like you see in every war movie where they storm a beach. When they got to shore, the front went down and they were all supposed to run out and start making their way up the beach to the cliffs.
The problem was, no one would move. (Can you blame them? I've seen Saving Private Ryan, no way would I want to get out of that boat.) Grandpa says the officer with them ordered them to leave the boat and still...no one moved. Finally the officer pulled out his side arm and said "you either go and risk getting shot by the Japanese, or you stay and risk getting shot by me." Folks still weren't moving and grandpa was standing pretty close to that side arm, so he climbed the side of the boat (they had open tops) and went over the side.
As he was falling toward the water, he heard this huge explosion. A mortar had landed right in the middle of the boat he'd just jumped out of.
3.) Sniper Fire - When Grandpa was on Iwo Jima, the tanks weren't as well equipped as they are now. In fact, the tank drivers really couldn't see out enough to see where they were going. That meant that someone had to walk behind the tank with a walkie talkie, telling them which way to go.
The problem was, the Japanese knew what these soldiers/marines were doing and that made them a prime target for snipers. Because of that, the average life span for one of these guys was about 10 minutes. At one point while he was on the island, Grandpa got assigned to this gig. Half an hour later, he was still alive. One of the officers, who liked grandpa saw him down there and ordered that he be switched out. Somehow, the message never made it down and 15 minutes later, he was still there. The officer saw him again and went and switched him out himself.
The next guy only lasted about 2 or 3 minutes.
Grandpa always said that he never did anything special over there. He was just a kid trying to get home to his family in one piece. Getting out alive reminded him that he needed to spend the rest of his life making an impact.
If you've ever seen Saving Private Ryan, you'll remember the scene where the old man breaks down, wondering if he'd lived a life that was "worth it" after having come home safe and sound.
When you think about it from that perspective...it kind of makes you want to go out and do something to leave your mark on the world, doesn't it? What have you done lately to make sure your life has an impact? It doesn't have to be something major that will get you in the history books. Just something that has a positive impact on someone else's life.
Make it a point this week to say thanks for the simple fact that you exist...that your kids exist...by giving a little something.
Labels: Life as a Mom
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Every day (many times a day) I look over to see Timothy sitting with a baby. In this case it's Elmo, but any doll will do. Often he has a blanket wrapped around the baby. Sometimes he's just holding the baby, sometimes he feeds them(breastfeeds), and sometimes he burps them. It's really sweet. Timothy and Justin are both such affectionate boys.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Don't you just look at this picture and want one of your own!
(I think I'm wired differently than most-but I hear a newborn baby cry and I want one!, I look at a cute baby picture and I want one! I adore babies, no matter how hard things are right now it doesn't change that)
Monday, August 06, 2007
I got the baby to sleep and went to catch up on dishes (I always have a counterfull of plastic stuff because it's only safe on the top rack of the dishwasher and the kids go through it like crazy). I was feeling good about cutting down on the counter clutter. Justin had started to empty the toybox but I figured that's kind of the price I pay for cleaning in one area. While I did the dishes Timothy opened a giant bag of rabbit food that's been waiting for Tom to carry it out. They spilled all over the floor. As I was cleaning that up I didn't notice Justin deciding that rabbit food is fun to play with. He was sitting there pouring more out and running shovels through it and having a grand ol time. Timothy decided to join him and after I finished cleaning it up in the kitchen I turned around only to find it all over the living room. It was everywhere. Like pushed under the closet door, under their toybox, under the desks. It was all over the pathway and made the floor very slippery! This is in addition to all the toys that had been thrown (literally, in Timothy's case) all over the floor. The kids were hungry now. The baby was of course, crying at this point, and I wasn't so far from it myself. It took all afternoon to get it cleaned up, well, I'm still waiting for Tom to get home so we can move furniture to get the rabbit food stuck underneath. He was gone before 8AM and it's now 9:35 and he's still not home. That's pretty typical. And it's not because he's doing work straight through(while that would still suck it would mean more money at least), which gets pretty frustrating. I should clarify that it's not that he's hanging out with friends or anything either. He'll have to stop by someone's house or go look at a job or he'll stop at Tony's Pizza to bring free food home and ends up doing this or that for them, etc. etc. So he ends up being gone forever without extra fun or money to show for it. Long days like this with just me and 4 small people are really hurting my sanity right now.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
And I have much personal experience also with breastfeeding being blamed for anything that goes wrong.
(if you're curious about more myths or breastfeeding info in general, check out the link above)
Breastfeeding mothers' milk can "dry up" just like that. Not true! Or if this can occur, it must be a rare occurrence. Aside from day to day and morning to evening variations, milk production does not change suddenly. There are changes which occur which may make it seem as if milk production is suddenly much less:
An increase in the needs of the baby, the so-called growth spurt . If this is the reason for the seemingly insufficient milk, a few days of more frequent nursing will bring things back to normal. Try compressing the breast with your hand to help the baby get milk (Handout #15, Breast Compression).
A change in the baby's behaviour . At about five to six weeks of age, more or less, babies who would fall asleep at the breast when the flow of milk slowed down, tend to start pulling at the breast or crying when the milk flow slows. The milk has not dried up, but the baby has changed. Try using breast compression to help the baby get more milk. See the website www.thebirthden.com/Newman.html for videos on how to latch a baby on, how to know the baby is getting milk, how to use compression.
The mother's breasts do not seem full or are soft . It is normal after a few weeks for the mother no longer to have engorgement, or even fullness of the breasts. As long as the baby is drinking at the breast, do not be concerned (see handout 4 Is My Baby Getting Enough Milk?).
The baby breastfeeds less well . This is often due to the baby being given bottles or pacifiers and thus learning an inappropriate way of breastfeeding.
The birth control pill may decrease your milk supply. Think about stopping the pill or changing to a progesterone only pill. Or use other methods. Other drugs that can decrease milk supply are pseudoephedrine (Sudafed), some antihistamines, and perhaps diuretics. If the baby truly seems not to be getting enough, get help, but do not introduce a bottle that may only make things worse. If absolutely necessary, the baby can be supplemented, using a lactation aid that will not interfere with breastfeeding. However, lots can be done before giving supplements. Get help. Try compressing the breast with your hand to help the baby get milk (Handout #15, Breast Compression).
Breastfeeding is blamed for everything. True ! Family, health professionals, neighbours, friends and taxi drivers will blame breastfeeding if the mother is tired, nervous, weepy, sick, has pain in her knees, has difficulty sleeping, is always sleepy, feels dizzy, is anemic, has a relapse of her arthritis (migraines, or any chronic problem) complains of hair loss, change of vision, ringing in the ears or itchy skin. Breastfeeding will be blamed as the cause of marriage problems and the other children acting up. Breastfeeding is to blame when the mortgage rates go up and the economy is faltering. And whenever there is something that does not fit the "picture book" life, the mother will be advised by everyone that it will be better if she stops breastfeeding.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
It's funny how many tiny little things there are with kids like that. There were a million things they thought were wrong with Leanna(birthmark on her forehead, supposed click in her hips, galactosemia, sachral dimple, etc....) Justin had a blocked tear duct, the hypospadius and for a while eczema. He had a lot of infant acne and the sachral dimple too. Timothy had jaundice and much later eczema/weird skin rash. Jacob has an extremely mild hypospadius too. We still have to take him to the urologist to get it looked at, but it might not need surgery. In fact, the pediatrician didn't mention it to me at either visit so they might not have even noticed it.
So now we're free of doctor visits until mid-September!(Jacob in September, Timothy and Justin in November)
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
When I got pregnant with Leanna I drastically cut my intake-I either drank soda with no caffeine or water. I switched to decaf coffee. Sometimes on busy Fri. or Sat. nights at work I would treat myself to a cherry coke or Pepsi (my favorite). Cutting back on soda actually made it taste less appealing and after she was born I pretty much stopped drinking soda-substituting giant bottles of water when I was at work.
While pregnant with Jacob I started craving it again, especially Cherry Pepsi with lemon squeezed into it. I have to watch because Justin and Timothy will drink ANYTHING that I have in a cup. Just because it's Mommy's.
I know many people think it's silly to try so hard to keep the kids away from soda. People think that it'll make them become fascinated with it because it's forbidden. But I think it's especially important while they're young and their bones are forming to keep them away from it. You only have a certain window of time to store calcium in your body. At my age that time is past. Later when it's out of my control they may choose to drink it, but at least I'll have kept them away from it up until then. There are so many reasons not to drink soda! I'm trying not to make it a habit with my kids because I'm used to having it at family gatherings and such. That makes it harder not to drink for me.
Today in the WIC office as we walked into the room Justin exclaimed, "He's drinking soda!" and pointed at a little boy (had to be two or younger). I heard chuckles around the room and I had to reassure Justin that it was ok, just to get him to stop yelling that the boy had soda. I'll have to try to explain that one to him later. At least I know Justin has the idea that soda isn't for kids!
"He weighed in at 7 pounds, 2 ounces and, according to mom's publicist, is fond of "classical music, a clean diaper, mom's boobs and long naps."