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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Ways for parents to use their imaginations

I liked this idea. It's a blog post on curing children's irrational fears (http://www.apparenting.com)
Dealing with irrational fears
The addition of a new baby to the family has proven interesting. For the first two weeks, while Mom was in bed recovering with the tiny one, everything went smoothly. The last week, however, Linda has been up and about, much more involved in the day-to-day of our family life. And our daughter A- has had a really hard time with it.
Not directly, however. She's thrilled with the baby, eager for maximal Mom time, but her fears, never completely gone, came back stronger than we've ever seen. Fears about things like how pollution in the air might have gotten in her mouth and how she might die. About eating an egg and being afraid that a tiny bit of shell could kill her. About black widow spiders hiding out in her pajamas, waiting for her to go to bed.
We weren't sure how to deal with the problem because, at heart, we're like most adults and we rationalize, we talk about things and address them on a level that isn't in sync with the development of a child. So after some thought I realized that personification could be a possible avenue of solution and had A- create a "spider guest book", a page with a drawing of a spider and two columns of information, one headed "name" and the other headed "date". Just like a real guestbook.
When she did that, G- promptly made a guestbook for wolves and dinosaurs, more in the 'monkey see, monkey do' vein than because he has huge fears about either creature.
Then we had the children leave their guestbooks where they thought the scary creatures were most likely to appear, with a pen or crayon aside it. During the next 24 hour period, I would say that they checked their guestbooks at least every 2-3 hours (when they weren't at school). 24 hours later no spiders, wolves, or dinosaurs had signed their guestbooks and the fears vanished.
The fear of germs and microbes was a bit tricker, and for that we've been talking a lot about the "warriors in your body that beat up the germs" and how they're actually glad for some work because otherwise they're just bored. That's really helped too. Remarkably, actually.
My conclusion after this week of creating fanciful but tangible ways to help them address their fears is that sometimes children need something to imagine much more than they need knowledge. And, given that we're fully committed to a Waldorf education for our children, is that any surprise?

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