General venting on the subject.....

Multiple posts on discipline follow this one. Mainly I am angered by the idea people have that if you don't spank your child you are not disciplining them at all. That you are just wishy-washy about correcting bad behavior or you are afraid they won't like you anymore or just afraid to parent. People seem to think spanking is the way to get results and I personally have not found this to be true at all. What works best as a deterrent for me is to sent the kids upstairs-they don't like to be removed from the action. And Leanna particularly doesn't like to be sent anywhere alone.
I was also angered by people purporting to know how we handle things when they really have no idea. I actually hate having to discipline in front of other people. I try to avoid it if I can. I always feel like I am being judged, especially by my family. Therefore my most effective discipline is never in front of other people. Then again some of my worst efforts in discipline have also been while alone with the kids also.

I also get very very annoyed by people constantly offering me the same old advice and thinking they're telling me something I must not be aware of. (I think my Dad is the worst offender on this one). In the past two weeks I have had not one but two people tell me, "Having four kids is harder than having two." As though I had no idea! You don't say!!
I've also had people tell me how I need to have my kids doing work around the house-ummm......they do! People think that my house is a mess because I let the kids run amok and not take any responsiblility. Not so, I protest!! Because of their young ages, you can only expect so much. Right now the chores the boys do don't really help me as it takes more time to fix their "work" than it does save me time. But that's ok, it will pay off later. They do pick up toys, but at this stage that means having me give specific dirctions which is time and attention consuming. Even with Leanna, I still have to tell her, ok put the books in the bookcase, the barbies in the drawer, the dirty clothes go to the hamper.......a whole list of what to do. And it can't be a long list because she'll forget most of it then. I have no doubt that there are some children who are capable of following a whole list of chores, but that doesn't work for all kids, it's a specific personality thing. My point is just that I get a lot of the same advice from people over and over and at some point it makes you start to wonder......do they think I'm a moron that I don't know this???

Another thing I would like to add: my kids are stuck spending a very large portion of their time indoors. I think this greatly contributes to the problems they have getting into things and getting on each other's and my nerves. Unfortunately we do live in the city and have a tiny backyard. My yard is accessible from the street and is visible from the street behind us, therefore I don't feel safe leaving them outdoors alone. I occasionally do let them outside if I will be staying in the kitchen where I can hear them. But they really do lose out big time on sunshine and positive ways to expend energy like running jumping bike-riding, etc because of the indoor time and such a tiny space outside. We really do lose out on a lot with kids not be able to safely roam and explore their neighborhoods like they did several generations ago. I mention this because I feel it does affect their behavior and it's something most people don't take into account.