Let's see......Justin dumped bunch of crumbs left in Tom's potato chips on Monday......then bag of Tom's cheese curls fruit cup and an ashtray on Tuesday.....Wednesday it was bucket of spackel he was into(all over his face, hands, shirt, legs and the downstairs bathroom floor)............
We had late night worries Wed. night when Leanna developed rash. She's always itchy so when she first complained it didn't seem out of the ordinary. But then she kept asking me to scratch her back, very persistantly. So I looked under her shirt at where she was itching and the skin was irritated-there were bumps and the whole area was redish from scratched. She had it on her stomache, back, and legs. Chicken pox immediately sprung to mind, but it didn't look the way I remember them looking-there was no red mark in the center. But I'm thinking-I don't remember if maybe they out looking like this first, and I'm thinking oh great-if it's chicken pox that would be extremely dangerous for 3 month old Timothy! First I had her go show her father and he came up and called his Mom right away. Then I called my Mom to come over and look at it since she saw me and my sisters have it when we were kids. She said it didn't look like chicken pox either. We called Korinna to check if any of Maree's friends had it(in case Maree was carrier) but no. Tom hands me the phone-the jerk!-so I get stuck on the phone with Korinna for 20 minutes. It's sweet that she's all concerned and gives me all kinds of advice, but man, that woman can talk! As I was on the phone with her I looked up pictures of chicken pox, then shingles, rashes, and hives. It appears to be hives- sign that the whole body is experiencing hypersensitivity reaction.
They can be caused by classic allergic reactions in which histamine triggers an inflammatory response. It can also be caused by number of other regulatory systems in the body in response to different types of triggers. For example, Cold urticaria – the most common of the physical causes. These hives are triggered by exposure to cold water or air. Dermatographia -- hives that appear where the skin is firmly stroked. Pressure urticaria -- hives that appear under tightly fitting clothing or jewelry. Cholinergic urticaria -- hives that occur in response to heat, exercise, or emotional stress. Aquagenic urticaria -- hives that are triggered by contact with sweat or with water. In these people, exercise itself is not trigger, and they can drink water without problem. Solar urticaria -- rare disorder in which sun exposure results in hives. Sunscreen can help! We also know that some parasites can be responsible for hives (including giardia and pinworms, which are common in day care settings). We also know that bacterial infections, most notably Strep, can be the culprit. Viruses of many types can trigger hives as well.
Over 70 percent of the time no specific cause is found when children have hives. They were hypersensitive to something, but no one discovers what, and the hives go away. Doctors think that most of these unidentified cases may be from viruses, which would make them the most common cause of hives. This is particularly likely when there is cluster of cases (although molds, animals, foods, parasites, etc. could also be responsible for clusters). They're not contageous, though the trigger of the hives might be.
Luckily, not long after our internet searches revealed the cause....her itching had stopped and the rashes had disspeared completely in some spots and were lessening in others. I did however, discover that my husband has penchant for looking at really gross rashes on the internet. There are some pretty nasty rashes people can develop. And he's fascinated by them! Ah, the joys and discoveries of !
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
to continue or not................
I've been debating whether or not to continue this blog...... few posts have caused some confusion and possibly hurt feelings. I really don't like hurting people's feelings, but most likely it will happen again. I don't have time to sit and compose post before typing it out, my stuff is stream of consciousness and I generally have many distractions while I am typing. So I may not word something right, or something might be said that really shouldn't. I can apologize in advance, but I know that doesn't help much. I don't want to continually censor my thoughts, because that would take away from the cathartic effects of the blog for me. I decided to continue, because I really enjoy writting and because I've talked to the people that were possibly bothered by things I said, and they're ok.
I will state again that I absolutely don't think that people who think differently than I do are evil-differnent opinions make life interesting. Debating those difference can also help me to realize more clearly the reasons why I feel the way I do, so I welcome comments on everything! I don't have all the answers and someone else's suggestions may allow me to see things differently. So I'm back, and hopefully will be posting regularly again.
I will state again that I absolutely don't think that people who think differently than I do are evil-differnent opinions make life interesting. Debating those difference can also help me to realize more clearly the reasons why I feel the way I do, so I welcome comments on everything! I don't have all the answers and someone else's suggestions may allow me to see things differently. So I'm back, and hopefully will be posting regularly again.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Instead of commenting on the last post's comment spot I thought I'd add a new entry just to make sure everyone saw it. The last post was not aimed at anyone. Honest. It was not at all meant as a dig at anyone! I heard comments about Justin from all over the place-even from people who didn't know us. If you had any idea how many people said to me, oh, he'll just cry for a few minutes after you leave and then be fine! (We tried this, do you have any idea how hard it is to cry for two hours straight? Justin does.)
I was reflecting on the situation because I had just realized that Timothy appears to have a more "normal" personality. Which is an enourmous relief for me. And as this blog is meant as both a record for my children and as a catharsis for me-that post served both purposes. I mentioned daycare and staying at home(versus working) not because I am putting down these choices but because they were used as possible reasons for Justin's behavior. I've been a working(outside the home) mom and a stay-at-home mom. Both have benefits and disavantages, like any aspect of parenting. Same goes for daycare. To be honest, I generally don't believe in daycare. I don't really think that very young children are meant to be separated from their parents for long periods of time on a regular basis. Also, it is very hard to entrust your most precious possession(S) to strangers. I've known several people who have worked for daycares and what they told be only confirmed my fears about daycare. That said, there are some people who truly can't afford to be with their children-whether for reasons financial or for their sanity. And that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions with daycares. Jaime seems to have found one. Jonathan is flourishing. I thought about trying to work at a daycare, so I know there must be other individuals who just genuinely love kids and want to work with them.
Different choices work better for different people. I've been judged enough for things I've done so I try very hard not to do that to others.
Justin was such a hard baby, and then when I took him out I was aware that I was hurting people's feelings because of his refusal to allow anyone to hold him. Then to top it off my mothering skills would be called into question. And I knew that sometimes the things people said were suggested out of loving concern. Other times(whether I was wrong or not) they seemed more like accusations. And pretty much every choice I had made as a parent came under fire as a reason for Justin's behavior. My own mother questioned me, and she's always been one of my biggest supporters. That's hard to deal with. Most of the time I felt that my instincts were right-that it was just his personality and something he would grow out of at his own hardwired schedule. But as a mother there are days when you question yourself as well. Criticism was particularly hard to take then. So if I sounded bitter, maybe this helps to explain why. I truly was only posting out of relief-any comments anyone made have been forgiven.
I was reflecting on the situation because I had just realized that Timothy appears to have a more "normal" personality. Which is an enourmous relief for me. And as this blog is meant as both a record for my children and as a catharsis for me-that post served both purposes. I mentioned daycare and staying at home(versus working) not because I am putting down these choices but because they were used as possible reasons for Justin's behavior. I've been a working(outside the home) mom and a stay-at-home mom. Both have benefits and disavantages, like any aspect of parenting. Same goes for daycare. To be honest, I generally don't believe in daycare. I don't really think that very young children are meant to be separated from their parents for long periods of time on a regular basis. Also, it is very hard to entrust your most precious possession(S) to strangers. I've known several people who have worked for daycares and what they told be only confirmed my fears about daycare. That said, there are some people who truly can't afford to be with their children-whether for reasons financial or for their sanity. And that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions with daycares. Jaime seems to have found one. Jonathan is flourishing. I thought about trying to work at a daycare, so I know there must be other individuals who just genuinely love kids and want to work with them.
Different choices work better for different people. I've been judged enough for things I've done so I try very hard not to do that to others.
Justin was such a hard baby, and then when I took him out I was aware that I was hurting people's feelings because of his refusal to allow anyone to hold him. Then to top it off my mothering skills would be called into question. And I knew that sometimes the things people said were suggested out of loving concern. Other times(whether I was wrong or not) they seemed more like accusations. And pretty much every choice I had made as a parent came under fire as a reason for Justin's behavior. My own mother questioned me, and she's always been one of my biggest supporters. That's hard to deal with. Most of the time I felt that my instincts were right-that it was just his personality and something he would grow out of at his own hardwired schedule. But as a mother there are days when you question yourself as well. Criticism was particularly hard to take then. So if I sounded bitter, maybe this helps to explain why. I truly was only posting out of relief-any comments anyone made have been forgiven.
A sigh of relief
Timothy is starting to smile at Tom too and let him play with him a bit. This is very good news for me-in several ways. It's always great to see the kids happy with their Daddy. Plus after a baby like Justin-it would be nice to have a baby that will let their father hold them(gives me room to breathe). Also it will be so much easier on me to have a baby that lets other people hold him because it was really hard to be constantly blamed for Justin's personality. I could punch the next person who says, "Mama's boy." Aren't all babies biologically designed to be mama's babies? If he hadn't been attached to me more than anyone else I would worry. Everyone says that boys tend to cling to their mothers more in the beginning anyway, then add Justin's intense personality on top of that, and, well, it was a fun ride! I had intended to go back to work after Justin's birth but when I explain to people that I couldn't they just look at you like you're making it up. Suggestions were made that I was smothering the child(purposely not letting him bond with anyone else); that he was like that because he wasn't in daycare or because I wasn't working; or that he would magically become a normal baby if I would just let him cry more often. That last was particularly funny because man, he cried all the time! Most kids weren't in daycare when I was a kid, and they did fine-many kids' moms didn't work then either and they weren't all like Justin. And why would I want a child who only let me hold him-it's exhausting! But it was all my fault-I made him be that way!
So I'm incredibly thrilled that Timothy seems to be a bit more typical. I have enough insecurities all on my own without other people commenting! I always felt that Justin would come around in time-and he has. He adores his father. And although his father forgets, this started before Timothy was born-Trust me, I took note! I had so much at steak in this happening! He's a little flirt too- in stores saying hi loudly until the person hears him and responds. In some situations he is more outgoing than Leanna! He just had his own schedule.
I really hope that Timothy continues to let others hold him. I'm breathing a sigh of relief right now! My ego doesn't need the beating again. I wouldn't trade him for an easier child though. I believe things happen for a reason, so whatever that reason may be-he was put in our lives on purpose.
So I'm incredibly thrilled that Timothy seems to be a bit more typical. I have enough insecurities all on my own without other people commenting! I always felt that Justin would come around in time-and he has. He adores his father. And although his father forgets, this started before Timothy was born-Trust me, I took note! I had so much at steak in this happening! He's a little flirt too- in stores saying hi loudly until the person hears him and responds. In some situations he is more outgoing than Leanna! He just had his own schedule.
I really hope that Timothy continues to let others hold him. I'm breathing a sigh of relief right now! My ego doesn't need the beating again. I wouldn't trade him for an easier child though. I believe things happen for a reason, so whatever that reason may be-he was put in our lives on purpose.
Stuffy Justin
Justin has a cold. He's had one or two before, but it's been so long I don't even remember how long ago. Last night was a fun night-Justin kept waking up because he couldn't breathe right and Tom gets really angry when Justin wakes him up. I can't get it through to Tom that yelling loudly to be quiet tends to have the opposite effect. It scares him and he gets louder and takes longer to settle. Plus it really scares Timothy when Tom yells, so then you end up with two crying boys to calm. And one cranky daddy.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Theme song
Just wondering, anybody have a theme song? A song that you feel fits you currently or just in general. Maybe one that inspires you?
I don't have one-at different times I lean more towards different ones, even different types of music. Right now I'm hearing a lot of kid music(They Might Be Giants-Here Come The ABCs). "E eats everything" and "Go, go go go for G" kind of get stuck in my head, but they're not my theme song or anything.
I don't have one-at different times I lean more towards different ones, even different types of music. Right now I'm hearing a lot of kid music(They Might Be Giants-Here Come The ABCs). "E eats everything" and "Go, go go go for G" kind of get stuck in my head, but they're not my theme song or anything.
I can relate
Anotherblogger's post....excuse the language......I get very annoyed by stupid commercials too....
oh, please In my television watching (I assure you I am discriminating) I observed a State Farm commercial with a couple and a baby, and they were all, like, "Since we have a baby, it's important for us to save on car insurance." And I was convinced that the people who wrote and executed that ad must all be from a distant planet where there are no babies and people are hatched from pods. I'm not saying, "These are people without kids" because even people without kids (and you know I love y'all) have at least heard of or seen an infant and they understand that human beings begin life small and helpless, and that parents of a very small person don't sit around caring about their car insurance right then and now.It's more like, "Fuck, do we still have car insurance?" Or "You paid that, right?" Or "Oh, yeah. I'm totally going to pay that" and then you didn't pay it because you sort of couldn't right then because of your broke ass, or you could pay it but you just fucking forgot because you got twenty minutes of sleep and you ate some really ancient summer sausage for breakfast because you could get to it with one hand while you were holding the baby.I talk to a lot of people who have infants (the majority are strangers I accost) and they never say, "Gee, I was just thinking how important it is to save on my car insurance."I could imagine a pregnant woman looking at her premiums and saying, "Jesus Christ, I need to find some cheap fucking car insurance," or maybe she's entitled to even start freaking out about her car insurance for no apparent reason (pregnancy is strange at times, innit?), but holy shit, if I ever see another set of television parents doing something real parents couldn't possibly do, I'm going to make like the Reverend Donald Wildmon and start boycotting shit. Can you imagine the collective power of parents? Unreal. Those Mommy Wars motherfuckers really know what they're doing by keeping us apart.
Posted by Marrit at 08:06 PM
http://www.suite102.com/baldo/archives/2006/01/index.html#001500
oh, please In my television watching (I assure you I am discriminating) I observed a State Farm commercial with a couple and a baby, and they were all, like, "Since we have a baby, it's important for us to save on car insurance." And I was convinced that the people who wrote and executed that ad must all be from a distant planet where there are no babies and people are hatched from pods. I'm not saying, "These are people without kids" because even people without kids (and you know I love y'all) have at least heard of or seen an infant and they understand that human beings begin life small and helpless, and that parents of a very small person don't sit around caring about their car insurance right then and now.It's more like, "Fuck, do we still have car insurance?" Or "You paid that, right?" Or "Oh, yeah. I'm totally going to pay that" and then you didn't pay it because you sort of couldn't right then because of your broke ass, or you could pay it but you just fucking forgot because you got twenty minutes of sleep and you ate some really ancient summer sausage for breakfast because you could get to it with one hand while you were holding the baby.I talk to a lot of people who have infants (the majority are strangers I accost) and they never say, "Gee, I was just thinking how important it is to save on my car insurance."I could imagine a pregnant woman looking at her premiums and saying, "Jesus Christ, I need to find some cheap fucking car insurance," or maybe she's entitled to even start freaking out about her car insurance for no apparent reason (pregnancy is strange at times, innit?), but holy shit, if I ever see another set of television parents doing something real parents couldn't possibly do, I'm going to make like the Reverend Donald Wildmon and start boycotting shit. Can you imagine the collective power of parents? Unreal. Those Mommy Wars motherfuckers really know what they're doing by keeping us apart.
Posted by Marrit at 08:06 PM
http://www.suite102.com/baldo/archives/2006/01/index.html#001500
my little troublemaker(one of them anyway)
Hardly a day goes by that Justin doesn't dump food or get into something that he shouldn't. No matter what precautions I take he always manages to find something to do that he shouldn't. He finds that window of opportunity and jumps! For example, even if he can't reach anything to get into, he'll wait until his sister opens the fridge and grab the butter, and make a meal out of it. I have quite a few pictures of him with his face and body smeared with various substances. Last night it was marker-he climbed on the computer chair, from there on the computer desk, to reach on the very top and found a marker up there. The day before it was marshmellow. I had made Leanna a peanut butter and marshmellow sandwhich(sorry Jaime, you can't get away from peanuts!) and asked Leanna to put away the jars. She decided on her own to put them where she could easily reach them instead of up high and before I knew it..........Justin's covered in marshmellow. Sticky gooey marshmellow. All over him and the floor and my excersize ball! And naturally as soon as I find this mess the phone starts to ring and the baby starts to cry.......and Justin heads for the phone(covered in marshmellow) to bring it to me. Sadly, this is just a typical day in our house!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
playing
Leanna and Justin often play together which is really nice for me-it means I don't have to be holding or entertaining Justin during that time. It doesn't last long, but any break is nice. The past few days I've noticed Justin starting to play on his own-which is a good sign as well. And then there is the kids' latest obsession-sliding down the couch. They climb to the top of the back of the couch and slide down, sometimes just onto the cushions, sometimes completely off the couch. At least it's safer than when Leanna was sliding down the steps on her stomach! She would continue to do it even though she got brush-burn on her tummy!
When I was a kid(older though) we used to slide down the steps on pillows. That was really fun. Until my Mom caught us. : (
When I was a kid(older though) we used to slide down the steps on pillows. That was really fun. Until my Mom caught us. : (
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I haven't been able to post for a while.....it's been a tiring week. Geez, just got in trouble for being here! I snuck away for 45 minutes to take a shower(!!) and then came up to the third floor just to have a little quiet time alone. I've (i? sp?)encured the wrath of my husband for this-he had things he wanted to do! You'd think he'd want me to be clean, wouldn't you?
Anyway, Timothy gave Justin several genuine smiles today. When they woke up he was happy to see Justin. That's just nice for a mother to see.
Maree was over this weekend. I don't think she has much fun here anymore....the age difference is a problem at the moment. She and Leanna have trouble playing together. We never have enough for Maree to eat, she fights with Leanna, she wants to be with her friends, and she wants to watch all the teen-themed shows and talk about boys and clothes. The more Maree stays away from Leanna-the more Leanna acts up trying to get Maree's attention. Plus Maree misses her mother real bad at nights. It seems to me that Maree would be happier to come stay here less, replacing the long visits with an hour or two spent alone with Tom. I've suggested that he do a father-daughter type date with her before, and tonight for the first time he brought the idea up. Maybe if she came over less she might not miss her friends and tv shows as much when she was here(it might make her miss her Mom more though)? And whether Tom will go through with the spending time with Maree thing (or doing it more than just once) remains to be seen.......any suggestions for how to deal with this problem?
Anyway, Timothy gave Justin several genuine smiles today. When they woke up he was happy to see Justin. That's just nice for a mother to see.
Maree was over this weekend. I don't think she has much fun here anymore....the age difference is a problem at the moment. She and Leanna have trouble playing together. We never have enough for Maree to eat, she fights with Leanna, she wants to be with her friends, and she wants to watch all the teen-themed shows and talk about boys and clothes. The more Maree stays away from Leanna-the more Leanna acts up trying to get Maree's attention. Plus Maree misses her mother real bad at nights. It seems to me that Maree would be happier to come stay here less, replacing the long visits with an hour or two spent alone with Tom. I've suggested that he do a father-daughter type date with her before, and tonight for the first time he brought the idea up. Maybe if she came over less she might not miss her friends and tv shows as much when she was here(it might make her miss her Mom more though)? And whether Tom will go through with the spending time with Maree thing (or doing it more than just once) remains to be seen.......any suggestions for how to deal with this problem?
In the same article (as the last post) it says:
"-- Countries all around the world are showing increased levels of actual engagement by fathers (ie time spent actually doing things with kids). For example, in the US, in the 1960s, fathers did about 25 per cent as much as mothers - by the late 1990s that had risen to between 55 and 70 per cent. In Canada, the increase between 1986 and 1996 was from 50 to 65 per cent. In the UK, according to EOC research, father engagement has risen by eight times in the last 30 years."
Is it just me or does anyone else think those numbers sound to high to be true? I find it hard to believe that fathers in 1960 spent 25% as much time doing things with the kids as mothers. I don't think that sounds realistic. Maybe it depends how they're defining time spent in"engagement" with their children. And I'm wondering how much of that engagement time was spent alone with the kids, maybe they were counting things like family outings-where b0th parents are present. Maybe I'd buy it if they were including family time in those numbers.
"-- Countries all around the world are showing increased levels of actual engagement by fathers (ie time spent actually doing things with kids). For example, in the US, in the 1960s, fathers did about 25 per cent as much as mothers - by the late 1990s that had risen to between 55 and 70 per cent. In Canada, the increase between 1986 and 1996 was from 50 to 65 per cent. In the UK, according to EOC research, father engagement has risen by eight times in the last 30 years."
Is it just me or does anyone else think those numbers sound to high to be true? I find it hard to believe that fathers in 1960 spent 25% as much time doing things with the kids as mothers. I don't think that sounds realistic. Maybe it depends how they're defining time spent in"engagement" with their children. And I'm wondering how much of that engagement time was spent alone with the kids, maybe they were counting things like family outings-where b0th parents are present. Maybe I'd buy it if they were including family time in those numbers.
So that's what they're for!!!
Did you ever wonder why men have nipples? Read on....................
A father's nipple is perfectly suited to soothing a crying baby until it can be fed, according to a major report published for Fathers' Day (June 19) on fatherhood across five continents, which identifies the world's best dads. FatherWorld, published by Fathers Direct, the UK national information centre on fatherhood, details a worldwide increase in active fathering. It names as “Best Dads in the World” the Aka Pygmies, a hunter-gatherer tribe from northern Congo, in central Africa. When the mother is not available, the father calms his baby by giving him a nipple to suck. Aka Pygmy men do more infant care-giving than fathers in any other known society, finds the report. On average, they hold or are within arms' reach of their infants 47 per cent of the time. They beat Swedish dads, the number ones in the Western world, who average 45 per cent of parental childcare. In typical British families, dads now average a third of the parental childcare......Aka fathers often take the child along when they go drinking palm wine. They may hold the baby close to their bodies for a couple of hours at a time, says the report which highlights findings by Barry Hewlett, an American anthropologist, who has studied the tribe for more than 20 years. The dads, rather than mums, are often the ones who settle the babies if they wake at night. Sebastian Kraemer, child psychiatrist at London's Whittington Hospital, said: “It is possible that, in prehistoric societies, this was a normal way of fathering. We should not assume from 10,000 years of history that our prevailing model is the right one.” Caroline Flint, former President of the Royal College of Midwives, said: “I have come across cases of dads doing this. It's not a case of the man saying to the baby, ‘Here you are, have my boobie,' but usually of the baby snuffling along the father's chest, finding the nipple and sucking. The men are usually very surprised, but the babies seem content. They love to snuggle up to their dads.”
For the rest of the article: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=26042
A father's nipple is perfectly suited to soothing a crying baby until it can be fed, according to a major report published for Fathers' Day (June 19) on fatherhood across five continents, which identifies the world's best dads. FatherWorld, published by Fathers Direct, the UK national information centre on fatherhood, details a worldwide increase in active fathering. It names as “Best Dads in the World” the Aka Pygmies, a hunter-gatherer tribe from northern Congo, in central Africa. When the mother is not available, the father calms his baby by giving him a nipple to suck. Aka Pygmy men do more infant care-giving than fathers in any other known society, finds the report. On average, they hold or are within arms' reach of their infants 47 per cent of the time. They beat Swedish dads, the number ones in the Western world, who average 45 per cent of parental childcare. In typical British families, dads now average a third of the parental childcare......Aka fathers often take the child along when they go drinking palm wine. They may hold the baby close to their bodies for a couple of hours at a time, says the report which highlights findings by Barry Hewlett, an American anthropologist, who has studied the tribe for more than 20 years. The dads, rather than mums, are often the ones who settle the babies if they wake at night. Sebastian Kraemer, child psychiatrist at London's Whittington Hospital, said: “It is possible that, in prehistoric societies, this was a normal way of fathering. We should not assume from 10,000 years of history that our prevailing model is the right one.” Caroline Flint, former President of the Royal College of Midwives, said: “I have come across cases of dads doing this. It's not a case of the man saying to the baby, ‘Here you are, have my boobie,' but usually of the baby snuffling along the father's chest, finding the nipple and sucking. The men are usually very surprised, but the babies seem content. They love to snuggle up to their dads.”
For the rest of the article: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=26042
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
So I was reading the Dilbert blog-I check in every now and then-and he posted about our founding fathers' ideals, with regards to the original discussion on torture of terrorists. Reading the comments is always interesting. As someone pointed out, "keep a close eye on how the government treats foreigners, 'cos almost certainly that's how they'd treat their own citizens, too, if they thought they could get away with it."
Then I read this quote, "As was said in one of the greatest movies of all time (Dazed and Confused), "This summer, when you're being inundated with all of this bicentennial, Fourth of July brouhaha, remember what you're celebrating; that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males didn't want to pay their taxes." And it occurred to me that not much has changed, has it? The government is still owned by a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males who don't want to pay their taxes. But the slaves aren't all black and they do get a paycheck. They're still slaves though.
Finally, I found this comment humorous, especially in light of people's frequent need to revere the founding fathers. They weren't perfect either:
And let's not forget the drunkeness and fist fights at the Continental Congresses! They put the BUST in Filibuster, baby!
Thus ends my political commentary for the day.
Then I read this quote, "As was said in one of the greatest movies of all time (Dazed and Confused), "This summer, when you're being inundated with all of this bicentennial, Fourth of July brouhaha, remember what you're celebrating; that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males didn't want to pay their taxes." And it occurred to me that not much has changed, has it? The government is still owned by a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males who don't want to pay their taxes. But the slaves aren't all black and they do get a paycheck. They're still slaves though.
Finally, I found this comment humorous, especially in light of people's frequent need to revere the founding fathers. They weren't perfect either:
And let's not forget the drunkeness and fist fights at the Continental Congresses! They put the BUST in Filibuster, baby!
Thus ends my political commentary for the day.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
More books....
So I finished the "It's a Boy" book, and I'm currently reading two books- "Seabiscut" and the 505 weirdest online stores. Waiting to be read are " Raising Your Spirited Child" and "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less." After having kids I find my attention span has gotten shorter. Unless I am really really into the book. Probably out of necesity-it's rare to be allowed to read for more than several minutes in a row without interruption of some sort. I expect that as the kids get older and I reclaim a bit more free time the attention span will return. I hope.
I'll try asking again, what is everyone reading?(even if it's a magazine, comic strip, whatever....)
I'll try asking again, what is everyone reading?(even if it's a magazine, comic strip, whatever....)
Genetics again
Timothy's getting so big. He smiles a lot. Poor kid, it's amazing he's not deaf, living with his brother and sister! He'll smile at Leanna now(it took a while!) I've seen him watching Justin, but there just aren't enough moments where Justin will sit still around him. He likes to pat Timothy's head or back. When he says Timothy's name it comes out sounding like "Ti-ti." Justin's always unintentionally hurting Timothy. Like right now he's trying to tickle him. 18 months olds don't have very gentle hands, especially when they're trying to tickle your face! He lays on top of Timothy to hug him. He especially likes to take the pacifier out of Timothy's mouth or sometimes to try to put it back in. His aim isn't that great yet either. : ) At least he doesn't try to hurt him on purpose.
Timothy is sleeping right now with his arms above his head, a popular sleeping position in our family. Both his brother and sister did it, and his father and grandfather! It's so strange that something like that could be passed down-who would have thought! Justin and Leanna both looked a lot like my Dad and sister Laura when they were first born. I don't see that at all with Timothy. But he does look a little like a Cabbage Patch Kid the way Leanna did. I think it's really exciting to see what traits come out in each child. I love to see what kind of people they're becoming.
Timothy is sleeping right now with his arms above his head, a popular sleeping position in our family. Both his brother and sister did it, and his father and grandfather! It's so strange that something like that could be passed down-who would have thought! Justin and Leanna both looked a lot like my Dad and sister Laura when they were first born. I don't see that at all with Timothy. But he does look a little like a Cabbage Patch Kid the way Leanna did. I think it's really exciting to see what traits come out in each child. I love to see what kind of people they're becoming.
Keeping kids safe-Books!
Harry Potter books keep kids out of the ER
British researchers report that they have found that the number of Muggle children visiting the emergency room in that country dropped by half on the summer weekends when new Harry Potter books were released.
(For the full story: http://www.babycenter.com/news/?id=529859&scid=momstodd:20060102:2564:16856:7035#story )
British researchers report that they have found that the number of Muggle children visiting the emergency room in that country dropped by half on the summer weekends when new Harry Potter books were released.
(For the full story: http://www.babycenter.com/news/?id=529859&scid=momstodd:20060102:2564:16856:7035#story )
Monday, January 02, 2006
ha
Andrew Uitvlugt, candidate for mayor of Kelowna, British Columbia, proposed in November to coax drug addicts into public jobs, such as trash collection, by rewarding them with crack cocaine, on the theory that the work would be so fulfilling that they would ultimately decline the drugs. (He finished fourth out of five candidates.) [Calgary Herald, 11-11-05; Vancouver Sun, 11-20-05]
Saturday, December 31, 2005
My Grandfather
Since I'm doing sentimental posts, I thought I'd add this short essay my Aunt Cindy wrote about my grandfather. While my grandfather was far far far from a perfect man, this shows that you don't have to be a perfect parent to teach important lessons to your children(and maybe grandchildren).
Ten Things I Learned From My Father
By
Cindy Eicher
1. Use what you have.
Daddy was always making or fixing things with what he had in his workshop rather than buying something new. His workshop was stuffed with pieces of things he had saved in case they could be used to fix something else. He never threw anything away! That made for an interesting but disorderly workshop! When we were really little and lived in Wydner, his shop was the second floor of the barn! He had these tiny soldier figures we could play with. He had made them when he was a boy! I wonder how many treasures of this sort are squirreled away somewhere among all his paraphernalia.
I never remember my dad wandering around stores looking at new equipment or squandering money on tools and gadgets he would use someday. He always just used the tools he had.
Some of the ways he would fix things were embarrassing to us as children: a brown piece on a white surface, a piece of metal covering a part of something made of wood. His way of thinking and the lesson I learned was not to buy it new if you could manage with something you already had.
2. Be honest.
Daddy was an honest man. He didn't fudge on his income tax. He took a cut in his social security (meager as it is compared to some people) because he wanted to keep working.
I never remember my dad lying; and if we were dishonest, it made him very angry. Honesty was a lesson some of us had to learn the hard way-with the help of his paddle! He wasn't expecting anything of us that he didn't do himself! He taught us honesty by example.
3. Love your work.
Daddy should not have been working on roofs when he was seventy-five, but who could keep him off them?
"What if something happens and you fall off?" Mommy would say.
"Then at least I'll die happy, doing what I want!" Daddy would reply.
Daddy put in a hard day's work and took pride in what he did. When we were little children, he would take the family for rides to show us houses he had worked on. The siding on this one, the painting on another one, Daddy was proud of the job he did. These houses were usually beautiful two or three story homes that looked like mansions to us. I remember that I was proud of my dad that he worked on such spectacular houses.
4. Plant a garden.
When we lived in Hellertown, my dad had a wonderful vegetable garden. There were tomatoes, peppers, green beans, onions, red beets, and more! I remember the fragrance of warm earth, tomato plants, and the incredible taste of tomatoes right off the stalk.
Then there were the sandwiches he made using all those fresh vegetables! They were loaded with grated carrots and red beets, juicy tomatoes and tangy onions, and fresh lettuce.
Each of us kids had a small garden where we could grow flowers: asters, four-o'clocks, zinnias, and marigolds. We planted the seeds and waited for the little sprouts to make their appearance. We watered and weeded and watched for the colorful blooms. Every week Daddy walked the slate pathway through the little gardens checking to see our progress. Had we weeded and watered our plants? I know this is where my love for gardening began!
5. Eat your vegetables!
Daddy's law: two vegetables at every meal and one of them must be green! That was fine, unless one of them was peas! I hated peas. There was no way out of eating them except subterfuge, but we won't go into that in order to protect the guilty parties.
Daddy always showed us his arm muscles which he said were the result of his eating all his vegetables. They were well-rounded mounds that flexed impressively. I remember thinking that Daddy must be related to the real Pop-Eye the Sailor Man. Daddy was strong. He had a wicked swing when he played "hit-the-ball-around-the-pole" with you. He never seemed to get sick. I don't remember my dad ever being home nursing a cold, sneezing or coughing. According to my dad, all this can be credited to his faithful consumption of vegetables.
6. Keep your promises
I don't remember Daddy making us many promises, but there are some that I know he made and faithfully kept. The first was his marriage vow. We just celebrated my parent's fiftieth anniversary. Those fifty years were not easy. You can lay blame wherever you want. The fact is that my parents are still together, and that says something amazing about both of them.
Another promise my dad made was to bring us up in the Catholic Church. In order to marry Mommy with the blessing of the Church, Daddy had to make that promise. Some men might have taken that promise lightly or left the religious training of their children up to their wife. Here again, Daddy's word was as good as gold. He drove us to church, sent us to Catholic school, and attended our first communions and confirmations. He gave me the lovely scented bouquets to carry in the May and October processions at St.Theresa's Church. Mommy and he would come to see us in our lovely white dresses walking nervously in the long straight lines of the procession around the church. I remember how important it was to find where my parents were seated. I would always feel calmer when my eyes settled on their familiar faces. Daddy did carpentry work at St. Theresa's in order to pay our books and tuition. My religious training in those early years made an indelible impression on me. So did my father's example.
7. Jesus is our friend.
Daddy used to hum and sing "What a friend We Have In Jesus." He plunked it out on the piano and told me it was his favorite song. In all my years at Catholic school, I never heard of Jesus being a friend. He was the Son of God and not directly approachable. I never quite understood how Jesus's death on the cross fit into the religious picture. The concept of his love for us was not emphasized in church, at least not enough for me to understand. Daddy's view of Jesus was a new concept that I would come to embrace as my own later.
8. Be sure to relax.
On Sunday Daddy did no work. After work each day, he would sit in his chair with a drink and his pipe, still smelling of roof tar and sweat. There were things needing attention around the house, but the need to be off his feet and enjoy relaxation was sacred. Most of us did not appreciate this as children, but as an adult, I certainly understand it now. We need to relax and take time for ourselves. There was the untouched newspaper to be read, a drink to consume, and of course, there was his pipe to smoke. With seven children, a wife, and house full of repairs to be done, blowing smoke rings was a necessary release.
9. Don't be so scared.
I was always scared about lots of things: big things like the end of the world or air raid drills and little things like giving a speech in class or someone teasing me. One time when I was worrying about something, Daddy said, "Don't worry so much! Nine out of the ten things you're worrying about won't ever happen; and the one that does, won't be nearly as bad as you think it will." He was right! At fifty years of age, I still battle the "scaredy-cat" inside me, but remembering his words helps.
10. No matter how tough things get, you keep trying.
When Daddy was hospitalized after the fire in a house he was working on, he pushed himself back to work. It was the same story after he fell off a three-story roof, breaking his pelvis and ankles. A lesser man would have spent the rest of his working years on disability. Not my dad! He forces the issue of pain everyday. I never hear him moaning about his aches and pains either. If I hadn't asked, I wouldn't know. This has been a powerful example to all of us. None of his children are quitters!
When I was growing up, I foolishly wished for a dad like Robert Young in "Father Knows Best" or Fred MacMurray in "My Three Sons" I thought a dad should sit calmly in a plaid easy chair wearing a v-neck cardigan and slacks, smile a lot, and leave for work dressed in a suit. My dad wore a blue chambray shirt and blue jeans everyday but Sunday. I remember his smile, but his advice was often given in a loud voice with no smile on his face. Our family could not solve problems in a half hour. My daddy certainly didn't fit the fifties' television sit-com father mold, but he taught us by example to be honest, hard-working people. Having children of my own, I realize now how hard it is to be a parent. Only God is the perfect parent! In his wisdom, He allowed me to have Alan C. Fox as my dad. How thankful I am for what he has meant in my life!
Ten Things I Learned From My Father
By
Cindy Eicher
1. Use what you have.
Daddy was always making or fixing things with what he had in his workshop rather than buying something new. His workshop was stuffed with pieces of things he had saved in case they could be used to fix something else. He never threw anything away! That made for an interesting but disorderly workshop! When we were really little and lived in Wydner, his shop was the second floor of the barn! He had these tiny soldier figures we could play with. He had made them when he was a boy! I wonder how many treasures of this sort are squirreled away somewhere among all his paraphernalia.
I never remember my dad wandering around stores looking at new equipment or squandering money on tools and gadgets he would use someday. He always just used the tools he had.
Some of the ways he would fix things were embarrassing to us as children: a brown piece on a white surface, a piece of metal covering a part of something made of wood. His way of thinking and the lesson I learned was not to buy it new if you could manage with something you already had.
2. Be honest.
Daddy was an honest man. He didn't fudge on his income tax. He took a cut in his social security (meager as it is compared to some people) because he wanted to keep working.
I never remember my dad lying; and if we were dishonest, it made him very angry. Honesty was a lesson some of us had to learn the hard way-with the help of his paddle! He wasn't expecting anything of us that he didn't do himself! He taught us honesty by example.
3. Love your work.
Daddy should not have been working on roofs when he was seventy-five, but who could keep him off them?
"What if something happens and you fall off?" Mommy would say.
"Then at least I'll die happy, doing what I want!" Daddy would reply.
Daddy put in a hard day's work and took pride in what he did. When we were little children, he would take the family for rides to show us houses he had worked on. The siding on this one, the painting on another one, Daddy was proud of the job he did. These houses were usually beautiful two or three story homes that looked like mansions to us. I remember that I was proud of my dad that he worked on such spectacular houses.
4. Plant a garden.
When we lived in Hellertown, my dad had a wonderful vegetable garden. There were tomatoes, peppers, green beans, onions, red beets, and more! I remember the fragrance of warm earth, tomato plants, and the incredible taste of tomatoes right off the stalk.
Then there were the sandwiches he made using all those fresh vegetables! They were loaded with grated carrots and red beets, juicy tomatoes and tangy onions, and fresh lettuce.
Each of us kids had a small garden where we could grow flowers: asters, four-o'clocks, zinnias, and marigolds. We planted the seeds and waited for the little sprouts to make their appearance. We watered and weeded and watched for the colorful blooms. Every week Daddy walked the slate pathway through the little gardens checking to see our progress. Had we weeded and watered our plants? I know this is where my love for gardening began!
5. Eat your vegetables!
Daddy's law: two vegetables at every meal and one of them must be green! That was fine, unless one of them was peas! I hated peas. There was no way out of eating them except subterfuge, but we won't go into that in order to protect the guilty parties.
Daddy always showed us his arm muscles which he said were the result of his eating all his vegetables. They were well-rounded mounds that flexed impressively. I remember thinking that Daddy must be related to the real Pop-Eye the Sailor Man. Daddy was strong. He had a wicked swing when he played "hit-the-ball-around-the-pole" with you. He never seemed to get sick. I don't remember my dad ever being home nursing a cold, sneezing or coughing. According to my dad, all this can be credited to his faithful consumption of vegetables.
6. Keep your promises
I don't remember Daddy making us many promises, but there are some that I know he made and faithfully kept. The first was his marriage vow. We just celebrated my parent's fiftieth anniversary. Those fifty years were not easy. You can lay blame wherever you want. The fact is that my parents are still together, and that says something amazing about both of them.
Another promise my dad made was to bring us up in the Catholic Church. In order to marry Mommy with the blessing of the Church, Daddy had to make that promise. Some men might have taken that promise lightly or left the religious training of their children up to their wife. Here again, Daddy's word was as good as gold. He drove us to church, sent us to Catholic school, and attended our first communions and confirmations. He gave me the lovely scented bouquets to carry in the May and October processions at St.Theresa's Church. Mommy and he would come to see us in our lovely white dresses walking nervously in the long straight lines of the procession around the church. I remember how important it was to find where my parents were seated. I would always feel calmer when my eyes settled on their familiar faces. Daddy did carpentry work at St. Theresa's in order to pay our books and tuition. My religious training in those early years made an indelible impression on me. So did my father's example.
7. Jesus is our friend.
Daddy used to hum and sing "What a friend We Have In Jesus." He plunked it out on the piano and told me it was his favorite song. In all my years at Catholic school, I never heard of Jesus being a friend. He was the Son of God and not directly approachable. I never quite understood how Jesus's death on the cross fit into the religious picture. The concept of his love for us was not emphasized in church, at least not enough for me to understand. Daddy's view of Jesus was a new concept that I would come to embrace as my own later.
8. Be sure to relax.
On Sunday Daddy did no work. After work each day, he would sit in his chair with a drink and his pipe, still smelling of roof tar and sweat. There were things needing attention around the house, but the need to be off his feet and enjoy relaxation was sacred. Most of us did not appreciate this as children, but as an adult, I certainly understand it now. We need to relax and take time for ourselves. There was the untouched newspaper to be read, a drink to consume, and of course, there was his pipe to smoke. With seven children, a wife, and house full of repairs to be done, blowing smoke rings was a necessary release.
9. Don't be so scared.
I was always scared about lots of things: big things like the end of the world or air raid drills and little things like giving a speech in class or someone teasing me. One time when I was worrying about something, Daddy said, "Don't worry so much! Nine out of the ten things you're worrying about won't ever happen; and the one that does, won't be nearly as bad as you think it will." He was right! At fifty years of age, I still battle the "scaredy-cat" inside me, but remembering his words helps.
10. No matter how tough things get, you keep trying.
When Daddy was hospitalized after the fire in a house he was working on, he pushed himself back to work. It was the same story after he fell off a three-story roof, breaking his pelvis and ankles. A lesser man would have spent the rest of his working years on disability. Not my dad! He forces the issue of pain everyday. I never hear him moaning about his aches and pains either. If I hadn't asked, I wouldn't know. This has been a powerful example to all of us. None of his children are quitters!
When I was growing up, I foolishly wished for a dad like Robert Young in "Father Knows Best" or Fred MacMurray in "My Three Sons" I thought a dad should sit calmly in a plaid easy chair wearing a v-neck cardigan and slacks, smile a lot, and leave for work dressed in a suit. My dad wore a blue chambray shirt and blue jeans everyday but Sunday. I remember his smile, but his advice was often given in a loud voice with no smile on his face. Our family could not solve problems in a half hour. My daddy certainly didn't fit the fifties' television sit-com father mold, but he taught us by example to be honest, hard-working people. Having children of my own, I realize now how hard it is to be a parent. Only God is the perfect parent! In his wisdom, He allowed me to have Alan C. Fox as my dad. How thankful I am for what he has meant in my life!
I was really thrilled to find out about the book, It's a Boy because it's a topic I had been wondering about. Girls are familiar to me, I mainly babysat for girls, I had 2 sisters, and their world is familiar to me as I was a girl! I'm a lot less confident about raising boys. I was glad I had a girl first. While I have nothing against having sons, I wanted my girl to be the firstborn. And I'm still hoping for at least one more. Girl clothes are so much cuter, just looking at them alone makes me want another girl baby. When I was pregnant I talked to my friend Diane who had a baby girl about a year before I did. We talked about how scary the world is now that you are a parent, and specifically with a girl-you worry about her dealing with men(eventually). Although boys get their hearts broken too, women just seem to get the worse end of the deal more often, and in crueler ways. We were all too aware of how men treat women and never wanted our daughters to have to go through that.
So now I wonder how to reconcile the way I think of most men with the little boys I have to raise. Sure they're all adorable now, but one day they'll be men. I can try my hardest to make them into the kind of man I would have wanted-but kids aren't just little balls of clay that you can mold. It just doesn't work that way.
By the way, in an interview the author/editor said that after doing a boy book and a girl book, the biggest difference between raisings boys and girls seemed to be that the relationship between mother/daughter seems to be more intense. That sounds about right to me.
So now I wonder how to reconcile the way I think of most men with the little boys I have to raise. Sure they're all adorable now, but one day they'll be men. I can try my hardest to make them into the kind of man I would have wanted-but kids aren't just little balls of clay that you can mold. It just doesn't work that way.
By the way, in an interview the author/editor said that after doing a boy book and a girl book, the biggest difference between raisings boys and girls seemed to be that the relationship between mother/daughter seems to be more intense. That sounds about right to me.
Makes me cry.......
This is from the blog that I stole half my blog title from. It was posted a while ago, and now she's just written that her Mom is definitely dying. It made me reexamine her earlier post. Since this blog is so much about mothering, I thought I'd post it here. All the moms reading this will understand what she means.
You can never out-love your Mom
Since becoming a mother I have discovered something that I never imagined to be true when I was growing up. Something my mother used to say to me, but I always told her it was impossible. Turns out, she was right. She always told me: You can never out-love your mother. ANd you can’t. It is impossible. Even when she is your hero as my mom has always been to me. Simply put, you just cannot out-love her. I am a mother to three and know that there is no way they could ever love me more than I love them. No way they will know the deep intensity of love for the very beings that I brought into this world and am raising to one day go forward and change the world around them. They could never out-love me.
Just as I can never out-love my own mom.
As a little girl I learned more from Mom than I could ever document in an essay or column. I learned how to be the woman I am today. I probably even learned my distain for sorting socks from her. The best thing I learned from her was to laugh. You just have to laugh in the face of any horror you are confronted with. You have to look at fear, pain and, yes, even death and laugh. Or you will cry and it will win. What an amazing gift she gave me with her laughter and her humor.
I was always Mommy’s Little Helper growing up. Perhaps it was the “youngest child” syndrome. Or maybe the suck-up gene. But honestly, I think it has more to do with the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed her company. She made anything and everything fun. Nothing was so bad that she couldn’t find either humor in it or a way to remind you why you should be laughing. Helping her out was my greatest joy as a little girl. I would “help” her fold clothes. (Which probably always led to her redoing them later, but never in front of me.) I would “help” her clean the dishes. (Which equated to making lots of bubbles and getting the sink, floor and both of us soaking wet.) I would “help” her carry heavy things that looked like they were too much for her to carry alone. (Now, I see that she was carrying it and I was merely placing my hands on it, probably making it heavier.) It is now that I have my own Mommy’s Little Helper I realize how little I was helping her and how much she was actually helping me. A mother’s love. There is nothing like it. And no pain like knowing it is going to leave your life.
There is a certain grief that comes before death. A cruel time of waiting. A limbo where you desperately want more time, yet agonize over every new ailment or setback. A time when you desperately want death to just hurry up if it is going to come. Just stop taking her piece by piece. Stop robbing us of her bit by bit until she is no longer there. There is a cruelty to a slow death that torments those who are standing on the sidelines watching it happen, for those of us who see it lurking in the corner and wonder, "Are you coming? Is it time? What do we do until you decide to end this sadistic dance and let the music finally end?"
Honestly, I get really mad at all of this. I want to scream at Death and tell it to just stop screwing around with her. To just go away until it is time. But it hasn’t listened. It sneaks in, steals another part of Mom and slithers back out. To those who haven’t known her forever, it is hardly noticable when she has been robbed of another aspect of what makes her who she is. To those of us who have always known her, there is a huge emptiness that is left behind. A hole in the very essence of who she is that has been taken from us. Before we were ready.
I can’t stop what is happening to her. I can’t do anything to ease it or make it less cruel. I can’t even be there for her on a daily basis. There are days I am so thankful that I don’t have to face this in person on a day to day basis. And then I hate myself for thinking that. For being thankful that I don’t have to watch her go. How awful is it that I find relief in my absense? Because when I am with her, I hurt. Because there is still so much I have to say to her. There is so much that I need to know. Why didn’t I ask her about the little things when there was time? Why didn’t I tell her that being her daughter was the most fun, most amazing experience in the world? Why didn’t I ask her to share more of her stories with me? And then the anger hits again.
The last time I was with her she apologized. Can you believe that? She apologized to me that she was so sick. She cannot even use her voice past her treach tube, yet she managed to whisper out the very words I have been telling her. I’m so sorry.
I hope I have told her enough that she was a good mom. I hope I have given her enough love to get her through those hard times in our past of slammed doors and rolled eyes. I hope she knows that although I am aware I can never outlove my Mom, I sure can come close.
It has been a few days since she has been awake when she has visitors. The doctors refer to her as minimally responsive. Which basically means if you poke her with a needle or start a proceedure on her, she will open her eyes wide and give you a scared look followed by a go to hell look. But when my Dad has been there, she wouldn’t wake up to see him. When my sister was there, Mom opened her eyes once after my sister repeatedly and loudly told her to. Very loudly and very sternly. As Mom must have done for us as children when we were not responding to her when she was asking us to do something for her.
My heart shatters each time I hear that she is asleep more than awake now. Does she know what is happening? Is she scared? Does she wonder why I am not sitting by her bedside holding her hand as she has done for me countless times? Or has Death done it’s only merciful act and already stolen her ability to reason those things out?
Bit by bit. Day by day. I grieve for her. In a way, I wonder if these little deaths are more painful than the big one that is inevitable. There is a desperation that wants this nightmare to end, yet a fear that never wants her to leave me because I love her and cannot imagine her not being here. And this waiting, this watching, this grieving...it is hard. I wonder what she must be thinking when I stand beside her bed and tell her how much I love her. I wonder if she hears me and knows all of the things I want to say but just cannot find the words to express them. Yet, when I leave her and return home to my boys and my own baby girl and hold them in my arms, or watch them play or even when stand over their sleeping bodies when I check on them at night, I am comforted in knowing that no matter how much I love Mom, there is a peace that comes and surrounds me just by knowing the very basic truth that ...
You can never out-love your Mom.
Posted by Jenn on 11/02 at 12
You can never out-love your Mom
Since becoming a mother I have discovered something that I never imagined to be true when I was growing up. Something my mother used to say to me, but I always told her it was impossible. Turns out, she was right. She always told me: You can never out-love your mother. ANd you can’t. It is impossible. Even when she is your hero as my mom has always been to me. Simply put, you just cannot out-love her. I am a mother to three and know that there is no way they could ever love me more than I love them. No way they will know the deep intensity of love for the very beings that I brought into this world and am raising to one day go forward and change the world around them. They could never out-love me.
Just as I can never out-love my own mom.
As a little girl I learned more from Mom than I could ever document in an essay or column. I learned how to be the woman I am today. I probably even learned my distain for sorting socks from her. The best thing I learned from her was to laugh. You just have to laugh in the face of any horror you are confronted with. You have to look at fear, pain and, yes, even death and laugh. Or you will cry and it will win. What an amazing gift she gave me with her laughter and her humor.
I was always Mommy’s Little Helper growing up. Perhaps it was the “youngest child” syndrome. Or maybe the suck-up gene. But honestly, I think it has more to do with the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed her company. She made anything and everything fun. Nothing was so bad that she couldn’t find either humor in it or a way to remind you why you should be laughing. Helping her out was my greatest joy as a little girl. I would “help” her fold clothes. (Which probably always led to her redoing them later, but never in front of me.) I would “help” her clean the dishes. (Which equated to making lots of bubbles and getting the sink, floor and both of us soaking wet.) I would “help” her carry heavy things that looked like they were too much for her to carry alone. (Now, I see that she was carrying it and I was merely placing my hands on it, probably making it heavier.) It is now that I have my own Mommy’s Little Helper I realize how little I was helping her and how much she was actually helping me. A mother’s love. There is nothing like it. And no pain like knowing it is going to leave your life.
There is a certain grief that comes before death. A cruel time of waiting. A limbo where you desperately want more time, yet agonize over every new ailment or setback. A time when you desperately want death to just hurry up if it is going to come. Just stop taking her piece by piece. Stop robbing us of her bit by bit until she is no longer there. There is a cruelty to a slow death that torments those who are standing on the sidelines watching it happen, for those of us who see it lurking in the corner and wonder, "Are you coming? Is it time? What do we do until you decide to end this sadistic dance and let the music finally end?"
Honestly, I get really mad at all of this. I want to scream at Death and tell it to just stop screwing around with her. To just go away until it is time. But it hasn’t listened. It sneaks in, steals another part of Mom and slithers back out. To those who haven’t known her forever, it is hardly noticable when she has been robbed of another aspect of what makes her who she is. To those of us who have always known her, there is a huge emptiness that is left behind. A hole in the very essence of who she is that has been taken from us. Before we were ready.
I can’t stop what is happening to her. I can’t do anything to ease it or make it less cruel. I can’t even be there for her on a daily basis. There are days I am so thankful that I don’t have to face this in person on a day to day basis. And then I hate myself for thinking that. For being thankful that I don’t have to watch her go. How awful is it that I find relief in my absense? Because when I am with her, I hurt. Because there is still so much I have to say to her. There is so much that I need to know. Why didn’t I ask her about the little things when there was time? Why didn’t I tell her that being her daughter was the most fun, most amazing experience in the world? Why didn’t I ask her to share more of her stories with me? And then the anger hits again.
The last time I was with her she apologized. Can you believe that? She apologized to me that she was so sick. She cannot even use her voice past her treach tube, yet she managed to whisper out the very words I have been telling her. I’m so sorry.
I hope I have told her enough that she was a good mom. I hope I have given her enough love to get her through those hard times in our past of slammed doors and rolled eyes. I hope she knows that although I am aware I can never outlove my Mom, I sure can come close.
It has been a few days since she has been awake when she has visitors. The doctors refer to her as minimally responsive. Which basically means if you poke her with a needle or start a proceedure on her, she will open her eyes wide and give you a scared look followed by a go to hell look. But when my Dad has been there, she wouldn’t wake up to see him. When my sister was there, Mom opened her eyes once after my sister repeatedly and loudly told her to. Very loudly and very sternly. As Mom must have done for us as children when we were not responding to her when she was asking us to do something for her.
My heart shatters each time I hear that she is asleep more than awake now. Does she know what is happening? Is she scared? Does she wonder why I am not sitting by her bedside holding her hand as she has done for me countless times? Or has Death done it’s only merciful act and already stolen her ability to reason those things out?
Bit by bit. Day by day. I grieve for her. In a way, I wonder if these little deaths are more painful than the big one that is inevitable. There is a desperation that wants this nightmare to end, yet a fear that never wants her to leave me because I love her and cannot imagine her not being here. And this waiting, this watching, this grieving...it is hard. I wonder what she must be thinking when I stand beside her bed and tell her how much I love her. I wonder if she hears me and knows all of the things I want to say but just cannot find the words to express them. Yet, when I leave her and return home to my boys and my own baby girl and hold them in my arms, or watch them play or even when stand over their sleeping bodies when I check on them at night, I am comforted in knowing that no matter how much I love Mom, there is a peace that comes and surrounds me just by knowing the very basic truth that ...
You can never out-love your Mom.
Posted by Jenn on 11/02 at 12
Friday, December 30, 2005
Let me clear this up...............
It has been brought to my attention that there was some confusion when I referred to Maree's birthday party as "Ghetto." The actual definition of ghetto is:
Main Entry: 1ghet·to Pronunciation: 'ge-(")tOFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural ghettos also ghettoesEtymology: Italian, from Venetian dialect ghèto island where Jews were forced to live, literally, foundry (located on the island), from ghetà r to cast, from Latin jactare to throw -- more at JET
1 : a quarter of a city in which Jews were formerly required to live
2 : a quarter of a city in which members of a minority group live especially because of social, legal, or economic pressure3 a : an isolated group
b : a situation that resembles a ghetto especially in conferring inferior status or limiting opportunity
I used it meaning the definition used in 2b. There were low class situations, the type that usually occur in the ghetto. (screaming foul mouthed women, fights, and potentially dangerous people showing up at the door, and then it ended with some of the guests leaving a day earlier than they had intended).
None of this was Maree's fault, and it has nothing to do with her. She is a sweet affectionate girl. Her mother knows nothing of this blog, and that is on purpose.
I would also like to state that I could certainly never say anything about anyone else's housekeeping skills or the lack thereoff. I am a terrible housekeeper, ask Tom when I'm not around.
Hopefully that clears it all up.
Main Entry: 1ghet·to Pronunciation: 'ge-(")tOFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural ghettos also ghettoesEtymology: Italian, from Venetian dialect ghèto island where Jews were forced to live, literally, foundry (located on the island), from ghetà r to cast, from Latin jactare to throw -- more at JET
1 : a quarter of a city in which Jews were formerly required to live
2 : a quarter of a city in which members of a minority group live especially because of social, legal, or economic pressure3 a : an isolated group
b : a situation that resembles a ghetto especially in conferring inferior status or limiting opportunity
I used it meaning the definition used in 2b. There were low class situations, the type that usually occur in the ghetto. (screaming foul mouthed women, fights, and potentially dangerous people showing up at the door, and then it ended with some of the guests leaving a day earlier than they had intended).
None of this was Maree's fault, and it has nothing to do with her. She is a sweet affectionate girl. Her mother knows nothing of this blog, and that is on purpose.
I would also like to state that I could certainly never say anything about anyone else's housekeeping skills or the lack thereoff. I am a terrible housekeeper, ask Tom when I'm not around.
Hopefully that clears it all up.
book recommendation
I begged my sister to get me this book for Christmas and I am so happy she did! I highly recommend it (Jaime! Kim!)http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580051456/locoparentis-20?creative=327641&camp=14573&link_code=as1
It's really interesting reading-it covers all sorts of info-from wanting a girl during pregnancy to being the mother of the preschool bully. Some talk about how mothering a boy is different from a girl, and lessons they've learned from it. I believe next year the author has a similar book coming out about girls.
It's really interesting reading-it covers all sorts of info-from wanting a girl during pregnancy to being the mother of the preschool bully. Some talk about how mothering a boy is different from a girl, and lessons they've learned from it. I believe next year the author has a similar book coming out about girls.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
overheard at Maree's party
I love listening to little kids play......at Maree's party Leanna played with little Crystal. Crystal's a year younger than Leanna. Leanna informed Crystal: "Ok, I'll be the bad girl and you be the good girl..." Korinna's friend was apparently listening also, and she started laughing too. She looked at me and said, oh she's going to be fun when she gets older!" I said, "Oh, she's fun now!"
Explanations by Leanna
Scene: A tearful Leanna stands in the corner, fake crying.
Leanna: Girls aren't supposed to be in the corner! Only boys are!
Me: Really? Where did you get that from?
Leanna: I figured it out myself.
It's good to know these things......man, I'm really not looking forward to the teen years! This creative explanation stuff could really be a hassle for me then!
Leanna: Girls aren't supposed to be in the corner! Only boys are!
Me: Really? Where did you get that from?
Leanna: I figured it out myself.
It's good to know these things......man, I'm really not looking forward to the teen years! This creative explanation stuff could really be a hassle for me then!
No time for my presents
I can't wait until I get our house back to normal. I just mean all the Christmas presents put away.....The laundry caught up and the kitchen with available surfaces. This is made harder because Tom is home this week and working on the house. So I have extra tools and dirt lying around. After things are normal again, I should have free time to play with my christmas presents! I wish I had more time to be creative. I have so many great things to play with and no time to use them!
Dr. Ferber sucks!!
I have to say it's great to see a piece of news like this: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/29/fashion/thursdaystyles/29sleep.html
I am a firm believer that how you parent your child should be dictated not by a parenting style or by what is commonly done; but by the needs of your child and how that fits into your lifestyle. There's no one right way for everyone. I also firmly believe that people, woman especially, need to pay attention to their instincts. That's been lost to a reverance for science. We trust what a "parenting expert" says more that what our own instincts are telling us. I think that the whole"cry it out" theory shows how selfish our society has become. Babies needs should come first-as they grow they slowly learn that their needs have to be balanced, and that they are not the only important person. Children are young for such a short period of time-needs not met in infancy resurface later in life. That's important to remember. We try to force independance because Americans value it so highly. I think a child needs a secure base first. A lot of parenting ideas today try to force the baby into an adult mode of living-into what is easier for the adult and not beneficial to the child. I think having children is supposed to slow you down-and it may not seem like it, but that is a good thing.
I love that Dr. Ferber has changed his stance! He's trying to downplay it, make it seem like this is not a big deal, but it is. And while I don't need an expert to validate my views, it is nice to hear him say that co-sleeping is not as dangerous as he once proclaimed.
Let me say thatI realize that co-sleeping is not for everyone. There are all sorts of variations on it that work, and it may not work at all for others. So long as you are happy with your situation, who cares? But a lot of studies in recent years (funded by the largest manufacturer of cribs) keep saying that it's not safe and you are a bad parent if you continue to co-sleep. Studies that show the safety or even benefits of the practice still aren't given media coverage. And considering how many books are out there on getting your child to sleep and getting a good night's sleep, it seems silly not to mention co-sleeping as one of your options. It worked for me! As long as you follow a few simple rules(like don't do it while drunk! Don't smoke in bed! Duh?!), it's very safe. It's good to hear that validated.
I am a firm believer that how you parent your child should be dictated not by a parenting style or by what is commonly done; but by the needs of your child and how that fits into your lifestyle. There's no one right way for everyone. I also firmly believe that people, woman especially, need to pay attention to their instincts. That's been lost to a reverance for science. We trust what a "parenting expert" says more that what our own instincts are telling us. I think that the whole"cry it out" theory shows how selfish our society has become. Babies needs should come first-as they grow they slowly learn that their needs have to be balanced, and that they are not the only important person. Children are young for such a short period of time-needs not met in infancy resurface later in life. That's important to remember. We try to force independance because Americans value it so highly. I think a child needs a secure base first. A lot of parenting ideas today try to force the baby into an adult mode of living-into what is easier for the adult and not beneficial to the child. I think having children is supposed to slow you down-and it may not seem like it, but that is a good thing.
I love that Dr. Ferber has changed his stance! He's trying to downplay it, make it seem like this is not a big deal, but it is. And while I don't need an expert to validate my views, it is nice to hear him say that co-sleeping is not as dangerous as he once proclaimed.
Let me say thatI realize that co-sleeping is not for everyone. There are all sorts of variations on it that work, and it may not work at all for others. So long as you are happy with your situation, who cares? But a lot of studies in recent years (funded by the largest manufacturer of cribs) keep saying that it's not safe and you are a bad parent if you continue to co-sleep. Studies that show the safety or even benefits of the practice still aren't given media coverage. And considering how many books are out there on getting your child to sleep and getting a good night's sleep, it seems silly not to mention co-sleeping as one of your options. It worked for me! As long as you follow a few simple rules(like don't do it while drunk! Don't smoke in bed! Duh?!), it's very safe. It's good to hear that validated.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
You know they'll all just turn it on for you and walk away
Spanish designer Pep Torres said he was nearing a launch date for his Your Turn washing machine, which he developed to encourage sharing of housework. Users, such as a husband and wife, initially register their fingerprints, and Your Turn will not subsequently operate by the same person's print twice in a row.
language
Today Justin said "I love you" to me and Tom. And neither one of us had said it to him, it came out of nowhere. He has such a huge vocabulary for his age. But like Leanna, he's not a show-off. He tends not to use it in front of other people. I remember telling my uncle that Leanna could count to 14 when she was about 18 months old. Naturally she wouldn't do it in front of him and I end up looking like a stage mother(pushing my kid to do stuff). At home she would do it all the time!
You can see he is really trying to pick up on language. He tries to repeat phrases and words, and does pretty good. For example, I told Leanna to be quiet, I was trying to make a doctor's appt. for her brother. And Justin starts saying, "doctor, doctor, doctor!"
My sister Laura pointed out that Justin says "loadie" a made up word that Leanna used to say when she was younger too. She hasn't used for a long time, so for Justin to come out with the same made up word without ever hearing it......that's kind of neat. He even repeats it several times in a row the way she used to.
It's pretty interesting to see language developing, and to see how it develops differently in different children.
You can see he is really trying to pick up on language. He tries to repeat phrases and words, and does pretty good. For example, I told Leanna to be quiet, I was trying to make a doctor's appt. for her brother. And Justin starts saying, "doctor, doctor, doctor!"
My sister Laura pointed out that Justin says "loadie" a made up word that Leanna used to say when she was younger too. She hasn't used for a long time, so for Justin to come out with the same made up word without ever hearing it......that's kind of neat. He even repeats it several times in a row the way she used to.
It's pretty interesting to see language developing, and to see how it develops differently in different children.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
The longer a woman takes to get pregnant, the more likely she is to have a baby boy.
http://www.babycenter.com/news/?id=529677#story
(what happened with Timothy??)
http://www.babycenter.com/news/?id=529677#story
(what happened with Timothy??)
lost in translation
A while ago I mentioned that one of the reasons it would be difficult to take the Bible as word-for-word literal truth is the fact that we read it in translation. Here is a good example of why translation affects this:
(From a site that you can type in a phrase and they translate it into other languages and then back into english from the foreign translation) ( http://tashian.com/multibabel/ )
I'm a little tea pot, short and stout.
translates to: They are a small POTENTIOMETER, short circuits and a beer of malzes of
the tea.
a cookie is just a cookie, but fig newtons are fruit and cake.
translates to: biskuit has expert of biskuit, but Newton von Fig is fruit and hardens.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
translates to:If the moon fixes its eye like a great vector of Fleischpie of the
vector of Pizzapie, is the lover.
(From a site that you can type in a phrase and they translate it into other languages and then back into english from the foreign translation) ( http://tashian.com/multibabel/ )
I'm a little tea pot, short and stout.
translates to: They are a small POTENTIOMETER, short circuits and a beer of malzes of
the tea.
a cookie is just a cookie, but fig newtons are fruit and cake.
translates to: biskuit has expert of biskuit, but Newton von Fig is fruit and hardens.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
translates to:If the moon fixes its eye like a great vector of Fleischpie of the
vector of Pizzapie, is the lover.
Maree's birthday
Maree turned nine the day after Christmas. My Mom asked me how Maree's party was, and I said, "Ghetto." Cause it was!
Every year her Mom says she's not going to have a birthday party at her house because stuff gets broken and it's too much work the day after Christmas. And every year she does anyway. Like last year she decided she wasn't going to do anything at all, so we said we'd go buy a cake and bring it-and magically all the usual guests appeared at the party. Every year there's at least one fight. I'm glad Leanna's such a tough little girl, cause Cora's kids are really rough. Leanna and Justin had fun playing with the other kids though, so that was nice. It's also nice to see that Justin's not shy with other kids. He's also starting to say hi to strangers in stores also. He's a little flirt.
Anyway, first a fight developed between Maree and Ray(Cora's son). Maree has a sign on her bedroom door saying no boys allowed! and she told Ray to leave her room because no boys allowed! and apparently his feeling were hurt. He went and complained and Korinna started yelling and cursing at Maree. Maree was in tears and was crying loudly. She claimed that she was just joking and Ray knew it and even laughed about it. Maree was sent sobbing up to her room. The whole party went silent after that. I thought it was just normal kid stuff. Even if Maree was serious, who cares? So you let her know that she hurt his feelings and that you don't do that! She should apologize, and not do it anymore, end of story! Instead it was this huge thing that ruined the party and Maree 's whole face was read for like 10 minutes afterward because she was crying so hard. Then another party ender-one of Korinna's(Maree's mom) friends gave custody of one of her three children to another of Korinna's friends, Cora. Apparently there is a PFA(protection from abuse) order against the father. She's a cute little girl, three years old. Leanna played with her throughout the party. Well the little girl's dad showed up, knocking on the door. I guess he wants her back. He came on Christmas also. So they didn't answer the door and at this point we were ready to leave, but we couldn't because of this man outside Korinna's house. Lovely. I'm starting to worry, what if this man tries to take her by force. I have kids here who could get hurt and scared. We weren't sure if he left. When we left I'm thinking, what if he's still out there-Leanna is about the same size and also blond, she could easily be mistaken in the dark for his kid.
Every year after Maree's birthday party I tell Tom how glad I am to be rid of all that kind of stuff. I was around people like that when I was with Adam, and I don't miss it at all. Tom agrees. He hates going to Maree's parties too, but we have to for Maree's sake. It's a good reminder though how lucky I am.
Every year her Mom says she's not going to have a birthday party at her house because stuff gets broken and it's too much work the day after Christmas. And every year she does anyway. Like last year she decided she wasn't going to do anything at all, so we said we'd go buy a cake and bring it-and magically all the usual guests appeared at the party. Every year there's at least one fight. I'm glad Leanna's such a tough little girl, cause Cora's kids are really rough. Leanna and Justin had fun playing with the other kids though, so that was nice. It's also nice to see that Justin's not shy with other kids. He's also starting to say hi to strangers in stores also. He's a little flirt.
Anyway, first a fight developed between Maree and Ray(Cora's son). Maree has a sign on her bedroom door saying no boys allowed! and she told Ray to leave her room because no boys allowed! and apparently his feeling were hurt. He went and complained and Korinna started yelling and cursing at Maree. Maree was in tears and was crying loudly. She claimed that she was just joking and Ray knew it and even laughed about it. Maree was sent sobbing up to her room. The whole party went silent after that. I thought it was just normal kid stuff. Even if Maree was serious, who cares? So you let her know that she hurt his feelings and that you don't do that! She should apologize, and not do it anymore, end of story! Instead it was this huge thing that ruined the party and Maree 's whole face was read for like 10 minutes afterward because she was crying so hard. Then another party ender-one of Korinna's(Maree's mom) friends gave custody of one of her three children to another of Korinna's friends, Cora. Apparently there is a PFA(protection from abuse) order against the father. She's a cute little girl, three years old. Leanna played with her throughout the party. Well the little girl's dad showed up, knocking on the door. I guess he wants her back. He came on Christmas also. So they didn't answer the door and at this point we were ready to leave, but we couldn't because of this man outside Korinna's house. Lovely. I'm starting to worry, what if this man tries to take her by force. I have kids here who could get hurt and scared. We weren't sure if he left. When we left I'm thinking, what if he's still out there-Leanna is about the same size and also blond, she could easily be mistaken in the dark for his kid.
Every year after Maree's birthday party I tell Tom how glad I am to be rid of all that kind of stuff. I was around people like that when I was with Adam, and I don't miss it at all. Tom agrees. He hates going to Maree's parties too, but we have to for Maree's sake. It's a good reminder though how lucky I am.
Christmas
I have a moment of quiet here, so I thought I'd update things on my blog. It was a nice Christmas, although different. My grandmother was (is) in the hospital-she tried to turn down the cold water in the shower and turned it off by accident. She said she couldn't get out and she couldn't move, so she got a second degree burn on her back and thigh. The burn unit at the hospital doesn't allow kids and they are very strict, only 2 visitors at a time. That makes it very hard to visit her, especially since other people are always already at the hospital, so when you get there you may not get in to see her.
I know Leanna enjoyed her Christmas. I asked her, and her favorite presents were the ariel and cinderella dolls sets, the big baby doll from Grammy(it has an air pillow inside and the skin feels real), the cabbage patch kid and her diapers, the care bear doctor doll, the my little pony dolls, and the visit from Santa. And yes she added the visit from Santa all on her own. Pretty surprising when you consider that at first she wouldn't go down the stairs when she saw him there, and then when I took her down, she clung to me so tightly that she was hurting my neck! After Santa left, she said to me, was that Daddy or Santa? But later that day at my Mom's she was saying that Santa knew she was a big girl because he saw her when she got her picture taken with him before Christmas. So she believes in Santa, but I guess she has her doubts. She asked me last night where Santa sleeps, and if he has a bed.
It's funny although Leanna listed the cabbage patch kid, she really didn't have much interest in it when she opened it. It's actually still in the box. We're still working on opening all the gifts so we can get rid of all the boxes and the ten billion twisty ties that come with every single toy you buy today! And that Santa claus! He didn't bring her a big teddy bear! (She didn't tell anyone she wanted one!) He didn't bring her a real horse either, go figure!
Justin enjoyed opening presents at first, but then it no longer held his interest. He just wanted to run around playing with everything and everyone. He had a lot of fun but just like Christmas Eve, he crashed after a while. He took a nice long nap on the couch. (sounds like his Dad already!) His favorite present seems to be the talking drill. That's one I just picked up spur of the moment. Funny how that works. And he likes his roaring lion!
Much like his brother, Timothy seems to prefer women holding him. Except on Christmas Eve he enjoyed his time with Pop-Pop J. We got pictures of that! Maybe if I send him pictures of that he'll work on updating his website. He hasn't even put a birth announcement on for Timothy!
Tom liked and was completely surprised by his trainset. I got a starter kit. It's a lionel and it whistles and blows smoke. He has always talked about seting one up for the kids. But really it would be for him, you know? So I looked for one this year, a nice one that will last and can be passed down. It has 5 cars, so now anytime I don't know what to get him as a present, I can get a new car for it. They aren't cheap though. Or you can get scenery to put around it, something to set it up on, more tracks, etc.
I know Leanna enjoyed her Christmas. I asked her, and her favorite presents were the ariel and cinderella dolls sets, the big baby doll from Grammy(it has an air pillow inside and the skin feels real), the cabbage patch kid and her diapers, the care bear doctor doll, the my little pony dolls, and the visit from Santa. And yes she added the visit from Santa all on her own. Pretty surprising when you consider that at first she wouldn't go down the stairs when she saw him there, and then when I took her down, she clung to me so tightly that she was hurting my neck! After Santa left, she said to me, was that Daddy or Santa? But later that day at my Mom's she was saying that Santa knew she was a big girl because he saw her when she got her picture taken with him before Christmas. So she believes in Santa, but I guess she has her doubts. She asked me last night where Santa sleeps, and if he has a bed.
It's funny although Leanna listed the cabbage patch kid, she really didn't have much interest in it when she opened it. It's actually still in the box. We're still working on opening all the gifts so we can get rid of all the boxes and the ten billion twisty ties that come with every single toy you buy today! And that Santa claus! He didn't bring her a big teddy bear! (She didn't tell anyone she wanted one!) He didn't bring her a real horse either, go figure!
Justin enjoyed opening presents at first, but then it no longer held his interest. He just wanted to run around playing with everything and everyone. He had a lot of fun but just like Christmas Eve, he crashed after a while. He took a nice long nap on the couch. (sounds like his Dad already!) His favorite present seems to be the talking drill. That's one I just picked up spur of the moment. Funny how that works. And he likes his roaring lion!
Much like his brother, Timothy seems to prefer women holding him. Except on Christmas Eve he enjoyed his time with Pop-Pop J. We got pictures of that! Maybe if I send him pictures of that he'll work on updating his website. He hasn't even put a birth announcement on for Timothy!
Tom liked and was completely surprised by his trainset. I got a starter kit. It's a lionel and it whistles and blows smoke. He has always talked about seting one up for the kids. But really it would be for him, you know? So I looked for one this year, a nice one that will last and can be passed down. It has 5 cars, so now anytime I don't know what to get him as a present, I can get a new car for it. They aren't cheap though. Or you can get scenery to put around it, something to set it up on, more tracks, etc.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Happy Memories
Just thinking about how nice Christmas is now......having kids brings back how Christmas felt as a kid. Not just in the sense that it brings back your childhood memories of Christmas; but also that it brings back the excitement to you-you get excited for Christmas like you did when you were a kid. Only this time around it's because you want to enjoy the kids' enjoyment of everything. I do remember how it felt on Christmas Eve, especially one year when I did sit at the window in my bedroom, determined to catch a glimpse of Santa and his reindeer. Eventually I got too tired and had to go to bed. I have fond memories of the clay Christmas specials and of course the Grinch who stole christmas. I remember my sister Laura getting so giddy she could barely control herself. That had to be so much fun for my parents to see. And going to my grandmother's house on Christmas day-noise and confusion and presents and paper everywhere! I absolutely loved it. I don't know if it's a boy thing or not, but I remember my cousins Ronnie and Michael would just rip through the presents-barely glancing at what was inside. They just loved opening them for the sake of opening them. I loved the kaos at my grandmother's house. She has this huge house, always decorated. It was great growing up with lots of cousins-I wish my kids had that. My baby sister Claire, she really missed out in that department. Of my grandmother's 16 grandchildren she kind of ended up in the middle, agewise, so she didn't have the same kind of companionship. And I think Christmases were a lot quieter by the time she was old enough to be aware. But they were so much fun when I was a kid.
It's so cute how Leanna is worried that Santa might put snickers bars in her stocking(she doesn't like them but her Daddy and Justin do). We'll put milk and cookies out. I got a cup and plate specifically for that, discounted for 3.50(originally 15!). Until I hung the stockings Leanna kept puting them in new places, worrying that Santa might not be able to find them. She keeps asking how many days until Christmas. I'm really excited for Justin to open a present from my sister Laura. It's a Lion from the build a bear shop at the Lehigh Valley Mall and it roars. You have to know Justin to understand why that's such a great gift. He will roar if you ask him what a lion says or sometimes roar back at you if you do it first. It's one of those extremely cute things-much cuter in person than to read about. The majority of the time if you roar first(or even second) he will say, "scary!" And about half the time he really will be scared. We have a tiny toy lion, Scar-from the Lion King movie, and Justin is actually afraid of it. He has a very mean expression on his face, so I can see why Justin's afraid. Leanna's the easiest for me to buy for though, I guess because I can buy her things that I enjoyed as a kid, or wanted and didn't get. I'm probably most excited about her baby Cabbage Patch kid. Because it's a baby, so she can change it's diaper while I do Timothy(and all the other fun stuff), and because those dolls were so huge when I was a kid. I had 2-a homemade one that I bought from a friend with my allowance(the poor woman accepted payment entirely in change and only made a dollar profit off it) and then later, when their popularity had declined-and their prices-I got a real one for Christmas. Oh well, I'm way off track here. And this thing won't let me copy or cut, so I can't divide this into two posts! Anyway, the basic point is that Christmas is more and more fun as the kids get older and as we have more. Hmmmmm......16 grandchildren..........how would you like that Momma Sue?
It's so cute how Leanna is worried that Santa might put snickers bars in her stocking(she doesn't like them but her Daddy and Justin do). We'll put milk and cookies out. I got a cup and plate specifically for that, discounted for 3.50(originally 15!). Until I hung the stockings Leanna kept puting them in new places, worrying that Santa might not be able to find them. She keeps asking how many days until Christmas. I'm really excited for Justin to open a present from my sister Laura. It's a Lion from the build a bear shop at the Lehigh Valley Mall and it roars. You have to know Justin to understand why that's such a great gift. He will roar if you ask him what a lion says or sometimes roar back at you if you do it first. It's one of those extremely cute things-much cuter in person than to read about. The majority of the time if you roar first(or even second) he will say, "scary!" And about half the time he really will be scared. We have a tiny toy lion, Scar-from the Lion King movie, and Justin is actually afraid of it. He has a very mean expression on his face, so I can see why Justin's afraid. Leanna's the easiest for me to buy for though, I guess because I can buy her things that I enjoyed as a kid, or wanted and didn't get. I'm probably most excited about her baby Cabbage Patch kid. Because it's a baby, so she can change it's diaper while I do Timothy(and all the other fun stuff), and because those dolls were so huge when I was a kid. I had 2-a homemade one that I bought from a friend with my allowance(the poor woman accepted payment entirely in change and only made a dollar profit off it) and then later, when their popularity had declined-and their prices-I got a real one for Christmas. Oh well, I'm way off track here. And this thing won't let me copy or cut, so I can't divide this into two posts! Anyway, the basic point is that Christmas is more and more fun as the kids get older and as we have more. Hmmmmm......16 grandchildren..........how would you like that Momma Sue?
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Back to the doctor's office
Timothy's up to 12 lbs, 3 oz and 24 inches long. They didn't bother to tell me what percentile he's in. They didn't even write his measurements down. I asked about it and she told me they don't do that. Right next door they do-even handed you a special booklet to keep track of measurements and shots. Must have to do with public assistance. I think I really will switch all the kids over to Lehigh Valley Hospital. They take public assistance too but they're not as rude. Poor kid had 5 shots today with 4 needles. I think he might have his sister's high tolerance for pain. (With siblings like his, he'll need it!) Fate was merciful as Justin fell asleep on the walk to the doctor's office and stayed asleep until we were ready to leave. While we waited to get in (40 minutes) Timothy slept in the sling and Justin in the stroller. It was nice to have time alone with Leanna for a change. We played "I spy" and read a powerpuff girls story. They kick butt! (I don't really care for the powerpuff girls but it was what was available). While we waited in the office she danced a ballerina dance and played house doctor. I'm not entirely sure what a house doctor is, but I don't really think Leanna knows either. On the way home she amused several passer-byers with her repeated question, "Are we in _town yet?" (For those who don't know, we never left)
C is for cookies(and that's good enough for me!)
Ok, so far today is going more like it should. My sewing machine is fixed, well enough to work anyway. Tom's feeling a little better, and I made gingerbread cookies. I made small sacrifices to the baking gods in order to finish-3 containers of sprinkles, filled about a quarter full. And a ball of dough about the size of Leanna's hand. It's worth it because that means that my gingerbread cookies are done! All decorated. I managed to roll out the dough and cut out the cookies before Leanna suspected something was up and came in the kitchen. So I just had to worry about her wasing sprinkles. While I decorated all the cookies she decorated 2 cookies. With a whole lotta sprinkles! One started out as a gingerbread man and was later reformed into a christmas tree. A slightly deformed one, but still. Justin kept climbing on the table and stealing the sprinkles to eat them, and he also ruined the above mentioned dough. But we listened to Christmas music and enjoyed decorating and each other's company. Didn't stress about getting things done. It was what the holidays are supposed to be about.
Monday, December 19, 2005
busy weekend
So I broke my sewing machine this weekend. Leave it to me to break it when I'm in a rush to finish a project. He's been trying to fix it for 2 days. And then Tom brings home his great-grandmother's sewing machine, dated 1955, and wants me to use that. Yeah, let me break that one too! I'd just love to have your entire family mad at me for breaking a family heirloom!
I made cookies this weekend, with the "help" of Leanna, Justin, and Maree'. And Laura's help too. I still have the dough for gingerbread cookies in the fridge, we didn't get to that yet. We finally got the pictures of the kids back from the photographer. She threw in a free ornament, a braclet with a charm that has all 3 kids' pictures on it, and 2 free photos(they're cut a little off though, I guess that's why they're free). Then we had a family party for Claire. Unfortunately she didn't enjoy it at all, didn't like the company or the gifts. Even though it's stuff she asked for. Hopefully Christmas will go better. And we stopped by Friendly's in Easton to finally pick up Leanna's prize for the coloring contest. They had a chest of dollar store toys. She picked a wooden cradle that you have to glue together and paint.
And now I'm scanning old slides as a Christmas present for my grandmother. It's hard to do though because they are old and weren't taken care of, so the color is all red. Plus they're not a normal sized slide. They're bigger which means often the whole picture doesn't fit and you have to manually adjust it. Sometimes you just have to cut off part of the picture because there's no way for the whole thing to fit. So after I scan and save them I have to fix the color which is not always easy. We checked at Dan's Camera-it would cost about $20.00 per slide to have them done there! So I'm giving the gift of my time to Mimi as well as the gift of her memories.
I made cookies this weekend, with the "help" of Leanna, Justin, and Maree'. And Laura's help too. I still have the dough for gingerbread cookies in the fridge, we didn't get to that yet. We finally got the pictures of the kids back from the photographer. She threw in a free ornament, a braclet with a charm that has all 3 kids' pictures on it, and 2 free photos(they're cut a little off though, I guess that's why they're free). Then we had a family party for Claire. Unfortunately she didn't enjoy it at all, didn't like the company or the gifts. Even though it's stuff she asked for. Hopefully Christmas will go better. And we stopped by Friendly's in Easton to finally pick up Leanna's prize for the coloring contest. They had a chest of dollar store toys. She picked a wooden cradle that you have to glue together and paint.
And now I'm scanning old slides as a Christmas present for my grandmother. It's hard to do though because they are old and weren't taken care of, so the color is all red. Plus they're not a normal sized slide. They're bigger which means often the whole picture doesn't fit and you have to manually adjust it. Sometimes you just have to cut off part of the picture because there's no way for the whole thing to fit. So after I scan and save them I have to fix the color which is not always easy. We checked at Dan's Camera-it would cost about $20.00 per slide to have them done there! So I'm giving the gift of my time to Mimi as well as the gift of her memories.
Happy happy joy joy
Yesterday I found a christmas present for Tom! A good one, I think. He's so hard to buy for. Especially this year because he had a kitchen job of his own, he used several thousand dollars to buy tools. All kinds of tools. The only thing people know to buy him as gifts!
One of the great things about this gift I bought him is that it generates more gifts! Which means that I'll always be able to find something to buy for him if I can't think of anything else. And it's something that will last (hopefully) for generations. I'm mentally patting myself on the back!
One of the great things about this gift I bought him is that it generates more gifts! Which means that I'll always be able to find something to buy for him if I can't think of anything else. And it's something that will last (hopefully) for generations. I'm mentally patting myself on the back!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Eeeek
Do you realize how close it is to Christmas??? I have practically nothing for Tom, a.k.a. the hardest man in the whole entire universe to shop for! And I have wrapped NOTHING! Where did the time go! At least I'm making and decorating cookies tomorrow. That's one thing I can check off the list.
Holiday Music
The other night some special was on and I saw the girl who won American Idol(the last one) singing THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER! and she sucked. For those of you who don't know, that would be "Last Christmas" by Wham. That's the best pop Christmas song. Don't make fun of me! I love that song! Anyway, this girl could have been singing about getting the oil in her car changed for all the emotion she had while singing. It was wrong. I mean really, THE VERY NEXT DAY! SHE GAVE IT AWAY! there has to be emotion in that song! : )
Leanna's favorite Christmas song is "Felice Navidad." I tell her that her song is "Santa Claus is coming to Town" because she needs to pay attention to the words(that whole bit about behaving because Santa's coming). I wish it were that easy to get her to behave. Tom keeps telling her that she slept through Christmas and didn't get any presents cause she was bad. She's smart enough not to believe him though. I downloaded Cartman(South Park)'s version of "O Holy Night" which I get a kick out of. If you're not familiar with it you should hear it. But it has to be the version with the cattle prod. The other version's not so funny.
Leanna's favorite Christmas song is "Felice Navidad." I tell her that her song is "Santa Claus is coming to Town" because she needs to pay attention to the words(that whole bit about behaving because Santa's coming). I wish it were that easy to get her to behave. Tom keeps telling her that she slept through Christmas and didn't get any presents cause she was bad. She's smart enough not to believe him though. I downloaded Cartman(South Park)'s version of "O Holy Night" which I get a kick out of. If you're not familiar with it you should hear it. But it has to be the version with the cattle prod. The other version's not so funny.
Again with the dreaming!!
I didn't get to talk to Tom yet, but Leanna was dreaming again last night. Something about a horse in our house and it tried to bite her so she ran downstairs. I was dreaming about a bunch of men running around with guns. I think it means that Tom watches way too much Law& Order. I wouldn't choose to watch it, but he has it on all the time and it kind of sucks you in.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Just for John
Just for John:
As we braved the freezing cold this morning, Justin wore his Eagles coat!
As we braved the freezing cold this morning, Justin wore his Eagles coat!
Doctor visit
We braved the freezing cold this morning to take Justin to the doctor's office. Since I don't drive this means I wear the baby in the sling, Justin's in the stroller, and Leanna walks alongside me. So we bundled up like abominal (sp?) snowmen-it was 9 degrees this morning!!-and had our morning excersize. We missed Justin's 15 month appt. because of Timothy being born and all the jaundice fun, and he'll be 18 months on Dec. 27th. He's 32 inches tall and 21 lbs, 14 oz. He's between the 7th and 10th percentile for weight, which they're slightly concerned about. I'm not though. That's actually a slight gain since he was in the 5th percentile last visit. (I think cause my milk came back after the pregnancy) Justin's such a picky eater(he's a vegetarian by his own choice and eats very few things), he's extremely active, and he's very healthy with a large vocabulary. If he was sickly and not developmentally on chart, I'd worry. There's nothing wrong with him. Besides, that's just where he is compared to other kids his age, and kids are getting heavier and heavier.
I love the USA
from news of the wierd:
Are We Safe? In October, the federal Department of Homeland Security announced a $36,300 grant to the state of Kentucky, earmarked to prevent terrorists from using charity bingo and other games of chance to raise money. (One astonished bingo worker in Frankfort told the Associated Press that the need to protect bingo parlors from terrorists "would never even enter my mind.") Also in October, the Tampa Tribune reported that two lower-tier Florida tourist attractions (the Weeki Wachee Springs mermaid show and Dinosaur World in Plant City) were on Homeland Security's list of sites that the state had to "harden" against terrorist attacks, even though officials complained that major sports venues and more popular entertainment sites were not on the list. [Lexington Herald- Leader, 10-24-05] [Tampa Tribune, 10-25-05]
Are We Safe? In October, the federal Department of Homeland Security announced a $36,300 grant to the state of Kentucky, earmarked to prevent terrorists from using charity bingo and other games of chance to raise money. (One astonished bingo worker in Frankfort told the Associated Press that the need to protect bingo parlors from terrorists "would never even enter my mind.") Also in October, the Tampa Tribune reported that two lower-tier Florida tourist attractions (the Weeki Wachee Springs mermaid show and Dinosaur World in Plant City) were on Homeland Security's list of sites that the state had to "harden" against terrorist attacks, even though officials complained that major sports venues and more popular entertainment sites were not on the list. [Lexington Herald- Leader, 10-24-05] [Tampa Tribune, 10-25-05]
Dsylexics, Untie!!
I was just following links from the Dilbert blog again, and I found this: http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml
Warning, some sayings are offensive!
Slight dislexia runs in my family, so I kind of like this one: I PUT THE "SEXY" IN DYSLEXIA
Just kinda cracks me up. I can see Claire wearing that shirt.
Warning, some sayings are offensive!
Slight dislexia runs in my family, so I kind of like this one: I PUT THE "SEXY" IN DYSLEXIA
Just kinda cracks me up. I can see Claire wearing that shirt.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Once Upon a Time......
Leanna read me a story today:
There was a little girl who went out for a walk. She went out without her Mommy or Daddy. She wasn't supposed to do that. But she was old enough so it was ok. Then she found a castle and tried to go in but no one was there to open the door. So she went home to get her pillow and blanket. Her Daddy was in the basement crying but she left anyway. She went back to the castle but the people still weren't there. So she slept in the grass. In the morning she went home and her Daddy said she couldn't leave but she did, so he was still crying in the basement. So she went back to the castle and slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept. Then she came back and stayed home. She missed her Mommy and Daddy.
In case anyone's interested, she found this story in a 7th avenue catalogue. But I think you have to be Leanna to see it.
There was a little girl who went out for a walk. She went out without her Mommy or Daddy. She wasn't supposed to do that. But she was old enough so it was ok. Then she found a castle and tried to go in but no one was there to open the door. So she went home to get her pillow and blanket. Her Daddy was in the basement crying but she left anyway. She went back to the castle but the people still weren't there. So she slept in the grass. In the morning she went home and her Daddy said she couldn't leave but she did, so he was still crying in the basement. So she went back to the castle and slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept slept. Then she came back and stayed home. She missed her Mommy and Daddy.
In case anyone's interested, she found this story in a 7th avenue catalogue. But I think you have to be Leanna to see it.
Good to know, I guess
Thanks to that Christmas song about the kid who wants to buy his mom shoes for when she goes to meet Jesus, Leanna informed me that when I go to heaven I will probably be next to the rabbits, probably.
(our pet rabbits that died that she only remembers because of the cage in our backyard)
(our pet rabbits that died that she only remembers because of the cage in our backyard)
Dreams.....
we've all been having wierd dreams here lately....Leanna had a dream about her grandmother feeding her the wrong kind of bread......I dreamt I was pregnant again and was all upset about having to tell everyone because I knew they'd be really angry.......and Tom had a long involved dream about his van, fountain Hill, and deer.
17!
Happy 17th Birthday Claire!!
We've come a long way from the days when I wrote "X marks the spot" on the back of your diapers! (Aren't you glad?)
We've come a long way from the days when I wrote "X marks the spot" on the back of your diapers! (Aren't you glad?)
Monday, December 12, 2005
Stressing out
AArrrgghhh! Stressing out, stressing out! Family troubles, stupid holidays always cause problems. You always have to worry about hurting someone's feelings and no matter what happens it seem that there will always be resentment. Everytime I think we finally have things settled and I don't have to worry about plans anymore, BAM! Nope. Starting all over again. I just wrote an email and I hope it makes things better, but it'll probably just make it worse. Maybe we should just stay home the entire holiday. Not see anyone else. Except the ones who get hurt the most is the kids. They miss out on time with loved ones.
Harry Potter
Interestingly enough, I got this link from my word-a-day email. It's an old slate article about Harry Potter and how his success comes from other's hard work. I enjoy the Harry Potter books, but it was an interesting look at the series. I could argue with some of it, but it does make some good points too.
http://www.slate.com/id/2073627/
http://www.slate.com/id/2073627/
The majority of my Christmas/birthday shopping is done! And I helped my Mom find a neat gift for my sister this weekend-something different, so I hope she likes it. Claire, my baby sister, will be 17 on Wednesday! I am so old. And Maree', my sort of step-daughter, will be 9 on Dec. 26th. I have high hopes for this Christmas. I suspect it might be my grandmother's last Christmas. And I'm pretty sure it will be one of my grandmother-in-law's last Christmas also(she has extra fluid on her brain and they probably won't do surgery to fix it. Quality of life issues.) On the other hand, I am mother to three beautiful children, two of whom will be able to enjoy the holiday season. I know Justin is young, but he is enjoying the lights and decorations and will be able to enjoy the family togetherness that comes with the holidays also. I suspect he will also enjoy ripping paper off presents as well. It's our first Christmas in a place big enough to really decorate and we have a real tree-eight and a half foot!! I'm in the process of making Justin a pair of pjs-the first thing I've ever made for him to wear. They're really cute. I would like to make Leanna a new nightgown as well, but I don't think I'll have time. I made her one two years ago and it still fit last year. I'm doing Justin's first because they're easier and because I've never made him anything. He can wear those pjs when we go out as a family to go look at Christmas lights. We bring thermoses of hot chocolate and the rule is everyone has to be wearing pjs. Then we just drive around enjoying holiday displays. And then he can wear them again on Christmas Eve. After that he can wear them whenever.
I have so many things to do-Christmas presents to finish making, Justin's pjs, cookies to make, presents to buy, presents to wrap, holiday decorating to do, so much cleaning to do, and that is in addition to all the regular cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids. It's overwhelming. Things that used to be simple, like wrapping gifts, can't be done in front of the kids. Justin would be running off with the wrapping paper, tape, and scissors, and probably presents too. And leanna is old enough to remember what she sees-how do you let her believe in Santa if she sees you wrapping presents that she and her brother open on Christmas morning? I've already explained that we buy presents for adults because Santa only brings gifts for kids. And today we bought presents to put in a bin for toys for tots. I told Leanna that some parents have no money to buy presents for their children and that they don't have a way to let Santa know where they live for him to bring presents....so we can help make their Christmas happy by buying presents for them. So Leanna chose a princess necklace and a set of trucks to put in the bin. They were only from the dollar store, I have 3 kids and a large extended family to buy presents for! But hopefully the idea that we help other people will be remembered.
I have so many things to do-Christmas presents to finish making, Justin's pjs, cookies to make, presents to buy, presents to wrap, holiday decorating to do, so much cleaning to do, and that is in addition to all the regular cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids. It's overwhelming. Things that used to be simple, like wrapping gifts, can't be done in front of the kids. Justin would be running off with the wrapping paper, tape, and scissors, and probably presents too. And leanna is old enough to remember what she sees-how do you let her believe in Santa if she sees you wrapping presents that she and her brother open on Christmas morning? I've already explained that we buy presents for adults because Santa only brings gifts for kids. And today we bought presents to put in a bin for toys for tots. I told Leanna that some parents have no money to buy presents for their children and that they don't have a way to let Santa know where they live for him to bring presents....so we can help make their Christmas happy by buying presents for them. So Leanna chose a princess necklace and a set of trucks to put in the bin. They were only from the dollar store, I have 3 kids and a large extended family to buy presents for! But hopefully the idea that we help other people will be remembered.
Post, people, post!
Does nobody read this blog? Comment, I like to hear what people have to say......post, people, post!
Friday, December 09, 2005
Growing vocabulary
Justin woke up yesterday and I asked him something and he replied, "Nnnnnope!" And later that day he answered "Yyyyyyup!" to something else. I've never heard him say either one before and neither has Tom. It just sounded so cute and it was strange how it came out of nowhere.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Finally, a man gets it! http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/ledger%20blown%20away%20by%20childbirth
Also, while I am linking, good for Kate Hudson! http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/74842004.htm
Also, while I am linking, good for Kate Hudson! http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/74842004.htm
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Behave! Or Else!
As I mentioned previously, I have heard a lot about this particular debate recently: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10338070/
I can understand both sides to the issue, really. I think it all boils down to respect, on both sides. Parents need to keep in mind that other people are trying to enjoy themselves and children need to learn that it's not ok for them to bother others. The children may be having a grand ol' time, but if it interferes with others' enjoyment of the establishment, parents need to rein them in. It's just good manners and teaching them to respect other's needs as well. (And if kids are running around that creates dangerous situations for both the kids and waiter/waitresses or customers walking. I've never seen this one actually happens, but it's in some of the articles I've read, so it must be a problem).
On the other hand kids are just learning manners. They won't learn how to behave in public if they aren't allowed to be there. Sure basic manners are taught at home, but they have to be put to the test sometime. And all kids, no matter how well mannered, have bad days. There are times when it's simply impossible to avoid being in public when your child is in a bad mood. The whole, take the kid out to the car til they calm down thing just is not always possible. I am not the only parent out on the buses with kids! And even when you do have a car-sometimes you have a time limit and can't wait for the child to calm down and then go back in and pick up all the things you wanted to buy again! Shopping in general is not an ideal situation for a child-it takes long, they get bored, they see all kinds of neat things they can't have, they get hungry and tired. In restaurants if the child is already hungry, waiting for food with nothing to do in the meantime is a recipie for misbehavior. If you don't have children, it's very easy to say, "You need to control your children" it's an entirely different thing once you are a parent. I take offense at the notion that all parents whose children are misbehaving are just lazy and don't care. It bothers me very much when the kids act up, but there's only so much I can control. Especially when they have limmited understanding of why they should behave and what you are telling them to do.
And as a side note, I frequenltly see adults acting in manners not respectful of others in public-if this is the example children see, well....it makes teaching them the correct way to act that much harder.
I can understand both sides to the issue, really. I think it all boils down to respect, on both sides. Parents need to keep in mind that other people are trying to enjoy themselves and children need to learn that it's not ok for them to bother others. The children may be having a grand ol' time, but if it interferes with others' enjoyment of the establishment, parents need to rein them in. It's just good manners and teaching them to respect other's needs as well. (And if kids are running around that creates dangerous situations for both the kids and waiter/waitresses or customers walking. I've never seen this one actually happens, but it's in some of the articles I've read, so it must be a problem).
On the other hand kids are just learning manners. They won't learn how to behave in public if they aren't allowed to be there. Sure basic manners are taught at home, but they have to be put to the test sometime. And all kids, no matter how well mannered, have bad days. There are times when it's simply impossible to avoid being in public when your child is in a bad mood. The whole, take the kid out to the car til they calm down thing just is not always possible. I am not the only parent out on the buses with kids! And even when you do have a car-sometimes you have a time limit and can't wait for the child to calm down and then go back in and pick up all the things you wanted to buy again! Shopping in general is not an ideal situation for a child-it takes long, they get bored, they see all kinds of neat things they can't have, they get hungry and tired. In restaurants if the child is already hungry, waiting for food with nothing to do in the meantime is a recipie for misbehavior. If you don't have children, it's very easy to say, "You need to control your children" it's an entirely different thing once you are a parent. I take offense at the notion that all parents whose children are misbehaving are just lazy and don't care. It bothers me very much when the kids act up, but there's only so much I can control. Especially when they have limmited understanding of why they should behave and what you are telling them to do.
And as a side note, I frequenltly see adults acting in manners not respectful of others in public-if this is the example children see, well....it makes teaching them the correct way to act that much harder.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Multitasking
Just thinking about some of the new skills I have developed as a Mommy. I can sweep the floor with a baby in one hand. I can eat, cook, and make sandwiches with one hand. I can type while nursing. I can do just about anything while nursing, actually. My peripheral vision and my 6th sense have grown immeasurably. (Usefull senses to have with young children who love to climb and explore) I can change a diaper while a child is standing up. I can perform many tasks in an extrodinarily loud setting. Even ones that require concentration-like bill paying. I can ignore messes that would have driven me to distraction before children. I play referee(already). I can yell loud enough to hurt my voice. I can make all the unhappiness go away with a breast. I am an entire world to a baby. I dole out punishments, kiss boo-boos, and read stories. I can read Goodnight Moon without the book.
As a teenager and young adult I could frequently go without sleep because I'd been out having fun. Now I go without sleep, practically all the time, minus the fun, and have to be able to function because I'm responsible for three little people who need me for everything.
I make more mistakes than I've ever made in my life.....and receive forgiveness almost instantly. And as cheesy and fake as it may sound, it is completely true that my capacity to love has expanded far beyond any point I could ever have imagined before having children. And I was one who ALWAYS knew she wanted kids, so that is saying something. That kind of love is primal and fierce and beautiful. One of the best gifts children give you.
As a teenager and young adult I could frequently go without sleep because I'd been out having fun. Now I go without sleep, practically all the time, minus the fun, and have to be able to function because I'm responsible for three little people who need me for everything.
I make more mistakes than I've ever made in my life.....and receive forgiveness almost instantly. And as cheesy and fake as it may sound, it is completely true that my capacity to love has expanded far beyond any point I could ever have imagined before having children. And I was one who ALWAYS knew she wanted kids, so that is saying something. That kind of love is primal and fierce and beautiful. One of the best gifts children give you.
Sigh
It's been one of those days.....very little was accomplished. I worked on a Christmas present up in my craft room, but the little I got done was outweighed by the mess I have to clean up in the room. The baby spit up all over both of us. Leanna continues to drive me nuts by refusing to leave Justin alone. She spilled her cereal twice(all over the table and floor). And Justin will not leave my coffee alone! I had just poured a cup and heated it in the microwave so even the outside of the cup was extremely hot. Did this deter my caffeine-loving son? Oh no. He grabbed the cup as I went to unlock the front door before my husband gets home(He lost his key and hasn't replaced it. Another story altogether). He was lucky the hot coffee only hit one of his hands. The rest is adding a new hue to our rug. Nothing new in this household.
Monday, December 05, 2005
I have a phone!!
Tom went to Cingular tonight to get a new phone since his was completely destroyed. He's rough on phones-comes with his line of work. He decided he wants to get me a phone as well-he's tired of not knowing where I am. So that should be fun for me, I've never had a real cell phone before(I don't count the ones from FL because they were ancient!) Tom's phone plays the Dukes of Hazzard theme since he saw that commercial! In the store the salesman had the one phone playing "Hell's Bells"(Belles?) which seemed really out of place. The salesman also asked Tom if he had a business card, he needs a wall done in his house. So he might give Tom a call. Things seem to be taking off for Tom's business.....cross your fingers for us!
What is everyone currently reading?
Just a quick survey-
What is everyone reading now? Even if it's just for school.......
Me first-I'm reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing.......Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary Flower.
What is everyone reading now? Even if it's just for school.......
Me first-I'm reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing.......Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary Flower.
Hopefully a Lesson Learned
So last night Leanna decided that in revenge for being sent up to bed, she would decorate the carpet. With marker. Green marker. Our nice white hallway carpet and a little bit of the pink carpet in the bedroom.
Needless to say, we were not pleased by the artistic display.
So she spent a couple hours cleaning the floor with a washcloth while crying and talking to herself. I really hope the message sank in. After she was asleep I took our new shampoo vacuume and went over it(very little changed because of her efforts) and it did come off. Lukily it was washable marker. The part she didn't clean at all came up with the first swipe of the vacuume, and the parts that she kept scrubbing at were the most difficult to remove. Her scrubbing was actually setting the stain better, but it was well worth the extra effort on my part if it keeps her from ever doing anything like that again!
PS. Grammy-it didn't even occur to her that anyone told on her.....your worries are unfounded.
Needless to say, we were not pleased by the artistic display.
So she spent a couple hours cleaning the floor with a washcloth while crying and talking to herself. I really hope the message sank in. After she was asleep I took our new shampoo vacuume and went over it(very little changed because of her efforts) and it did come off. Lukily it was washable marker. The part she didn't clean at all came up with the first swipe of the vacuume, and the parts that she kept scrubbing at were the most difficult to remove. Her scrubbing was actually setting the stain better, but it was well worth the extra effort on my part if it keeps her from ever doing anything like that again!
PS. Grammy-it didn't even occur to her that anyone told on her.....your worries are unfounded.
Movies and books
I'd really like to see the new Chronicles of Narnia movie-it looks good. I did once try to watch an older version but couldn't make it through the viewing. To be fair though I think other things were going on at the time so it wasn't entirely the movie's fault. I absolutly love that series-I read all the books in 2nd grade. I remember getting chicken pox the two weeks before Christmas break and so we didn't make it to the library. I was so very dissapointed because I had just finished the 2nd book(Prince Caspian) and was eagerly awaiting the third book. Imagine my joy when my grandmother bought me the box set of the entire series for Christmas! The pastor at our church(also my best friend's father) had a framed photo of Aslan in his living room which said, "Aslan is on the move." And I thought it was so cool when he preached a sermon in which he discussed Aslan as a Christ-figure.
As an adult I made sure by baby sister had her own box set of the books to read......I wanted to share that with her. I couldn't believe that they changed the order of how the books are read! Even though it's the same material it's just not the same when you read it out of order. Unfortunately I don't think my sister fell in love with the material the same way that I did......I was recently thinking of buying the set for Maree', but I think she's too girly girl to be into fantasy books. I really hope Leanna will be into that sort of thing. She loves books & being read to, so we're off to a good start at least. I hope I will have boys who read too-not just to be like me, but because I think if you enjoy reading it makes school(and much of life) so much easier. I haven't read as much to Justin, but that's because (I hope) he didn't take much interest in books until recently. I hope I'm not just falling into the trap of encouraging reading and language with Leanna because she's a girl and encouraging physical skills with Justin. It's something I have to pay attention to.
As an adult I made sure by baby sister had her own box set of the books to read......I wanted to share that with her. I couldn't believe that they changed the order of how the books are read! Even though it's the same material it's just not the same when you read it out of order. Unfortunately I don't think my sister fell in love with the material the same way that I did......I was recently thinking of buying the set for Maree', but I think she's too girly girl to be into fantasy books. I really hope Leanna will be into that sort of thing. She loves books & being read to, so we're off to a good start at least. I hope I will have boys who read too-not just to be like me, but because I think if you enjoy reading it makes school(and much of life) so much easier. I haven't read as much to Justin, but that's because (I hope) he didn't take much interest in books until recently. I hope I'm not just falling into the trap of encouraging reading and language with Leanna because she's a girl and encouraging physical skills with Justin. It's something I have to pay attention to.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
haircuts
My in-laws will be thrilled to know that we took the kids for haircuts yesterday. Leanna now has bangs and we cut off a few inches of split ends. It hurt both of us to do it, but it'll make her hair look much better as it grows. I'm not sure if I like the bangs yet, I have to get used to it first. Tom insisted on the most "boyish haircut" we could give Justin. The hair stylist laughed and said all men want the boys' hair to be as short as possible and their daughter's hair to be as long as possible!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
From my favorite blog
A good arguement for those who believe the Bible is literally, word-For-word true. I have felt for many years now that the Bible is meant to be a holy book, but it is to be interpreted. It was written by men (who are not perfect and are subject to social perspective and the customs of their time). Just the fact that it is translated leaves room for interpretation, then add to that the fact that word meanings change over time..........
Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? (I'm pretty sure she's a virgin).
3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Aren't there 'degrees' of abomination?
6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
posted by katie allison granju
Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? (I'm pretty sure she's a virgin).
3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Aren't there 'degrees' of abomination?
6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
posted by katie allison granju
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