Raise Children With a Wild Streak

I like this article! My kids' wild streaks may cause them trouble, but they may also take them down paths less traveled, help them figure out what they truly want in life. That wild streak may just give them the courage to get what they need from life. I was always taught to play it safe, and that still follows me.
Sometimes you have to take risks to get anywhere, and I have trouble doing that. I would never in a million years have started my own business-way too scary! Yet I married someone who did. Thus far it's been a wild ride, with ups and downs. But it's also given us a lot of freedom that we wouldn't have had otherwise. At this point we're still in the early years, so I don't know if it'll end up making us "comfortable" in terms of money. But that may not really be the point anyway.
Having children also led to my making some non-mainstream choices-things I would never have thought I would do. Life takes you on some strange journeys. I keep going back and forth on my decision to homeschool next year-it just seems like such a huge leap, a giant risk! It's a hard choice to make, what if I can't find the right materials, what if I just can't find a teaching style that works, what if I don't keep up with all the extras and accountability for them, what if she has trouble with a subject and I can't find the right way to get through, what if the district gives me trouble, what if I'm just not smart enough to find all the educational opportunities, what if I can't afford the educational opportunities? There are a million questions and a huge sense of risk. It's not a feeling I'm comfortable with. But I've been doing a lot of soul searching. The potential advantages are HUGE. And I read Randy Pausch's book (Thanks for letting me borrow it Sue!)and I was thinking about him saying that the brick walls in life are there to keep out the people who don't want things badly enough. "Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people."
I think homeschooling is one of my brick wall areas. Little walls keep springing up in my mind, and I have to keep talking myself out of it. I really want what homeschooling could do for my kids and my family. I just have to find the courage to do it. I think another quote from Randy Pausch applies, "- Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre." [Randy Pausch gave out a First Penguin award each year when he was teaching to the biggest failure in trying something big and new because he thought this should be celebrated. First Penguins are the ones that risk that the water might be too cold.] "
I guess I could look at it this way, the possibility is there for me to fail spectacularly at this effort and become one of those stories about people who homeschooled and probably ruined their kids. But if I don't try I'll always wonder what could have happened. If I fail, I can do it with style, and have fun doing it, right? Worst case scenario, she returns to school and is held back a year-she's young it's not that big a deal.
To bring it back to the article, my children's wild streaks may allow them to start doing what they truly want much sooner in life, and not being afraid. That is definitely a good thing.


Raise children with a wild streak
Many 'ideal' students lack inventive, restless and self-reliant spirit
by: Mark Pruett
A new report from the American Academy of Pediatrics stresses the importance of childhood playtime. It reinforces my own belief that many young adults have been cheated by years of excessive schoolwork and teamwork, too many extracurricular activities, and a straitjacketed "just say no to anything risky" upbringing. I am convinced that modern childhood generally does not build enough independence and thirst for knowledge.
For the past few years I helped interview high school seniors seeking scholarships to come to Appalachian State University. These applicants come from all over the state. They play instruments and sports, participate in church and charity, and work in diverse jobs.
They also display remarkably similar accomplishments. They are at the top of their high school classes and possess generically good manners. They lead teams, groups and clubs. They are smart, solid and hardworking.
They might be surprised to learn that I, like many college professors, yearn for rarer traits -- curiosity, passion, a wild streak. Yes, teamwork and leadership skills will help your child to implement someone else's ideas, and extensive extracurricular activities will foster responsibility. What your child really needs, though, is an inventive, self-reliant, restless spirit.
The key questions
For me, the heart-wrenching interview moment is when we ask these teenagers what they would choose to do on a day spent alone. Many say they never have the chance. Worse still, some have no answer at all. This should disturb and sadden any parent. In the end, my scholarship votes ride on two questions: Is this someone that I'd be excited to have in my class? And is he or she open to being changed by my class? Class rank and extracurricular activities are less important than genuine individuality or enthusiasm. It matters not whether someone is bold or shy, worldly or na�ve. Is there a flash of determination, a streak of independence, a creative passion, an excited curiosity?
We need more students like the ones who leave after graduation to work as missionaries or in the Peace Corps. More like the ones who start successful businesses while in school. More like the ones who find the courage to go overseas for a summer or a semester because they know their own worlds are far too small.
Some students are team players and high achievers, but I'd trade them for stubbornly creative iconoclasts. Some students as children were taught to color inside the lines, watch Barney the purple dinosaur, and always ask permission. We need students who found out what Crayons tasted like, loved reading "The Cat in the Hat" and paid little attention to rules -- students whose parents encouraged their children's curiosity.
Something's missing
The irony is that many students begin to perceive late in college that they've missed something along the way. They regret not taking risks with difficult professors, unusual courses or semesters abroad. They berate themselves by equating self-worth with grades, and they are saddened by the realization that they have only glimpsed the breadth of the university. They begin to grasp that their uncomfortable sense of passivity has its roots in the highly controlled existence foisted on them.
Parents: love, guide and support your children, but don't insulate them, control them or let them be too busy. Independence, confidence and creativity come from freedom, risk and a good measure of unstructured solitude.
Encourage studying but make them play hooky, too -- partly to learn what it feels like to be unprepared and partly to foster spontaneity, irreverence and joy. Study chemistry together, then blow up a television in the backyard.
Foster camaraderie and connectedness through group activities (especially family ones), but be unyielding in your commitment to teaching them to love doing things entirely on their own. Make each child plan and cook the family's dinner on his or her own once a week.
Surround them with books, not video games. Raise a garden or build a deck together. Send them on solo trips.
However you choose to do it, give your children, their teachers and society one of the greatest gifts of all: Help your kids become creative, independent, curious, interesting people.
About the Author
Mark Pruett is an assistant professor in the Walker College of Business at Appalachian State University.
This article, that originally appeared in The Charlotte Observer is reprinted with permission from the author, Mark Pruett.